memories..

FYP Engine Test

2006-10-14T19:44:00.000+08:00

We tested our UASV's engine yesterday. Powerful little motor is has there. Had an accident though, we overlooked some safety aspects and when Debbie was holding on to the fuselage, she lost control of it when it shot up to full throttle and it veered and sliced through part of our wing. Thank God no one was injured.

The patch repair was done pretty fast by Yee Leng, so not much to worry about. But it's really cool playing with the engine. It's really powerful. Here's a clip:

Smog Attack!

2006-10-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

Been down with the flu for 2 days now. Man, this haze thing is getting ridiculous. People are starting to fall ill cos' of this haze. My aunt who's from KL is staying over at my place for a few days. She says the haze is so bad up there, many people are falling sick. School's are even closed. (Singapore should get the hint. Haha)

This haze is really getting to me. My nose is constantly blocked, sore throat, the whole works. I feel really crappy. Hope this ordeal will be over as soon as possible.

God, please liberate us from this smog attack. Oh, and while you're at it, maybe cancel school? Heh. Thanks! ;)

On a serious note, yeah, I really do pray that God will help clear up the haze.

Nong, nong time.

2006-10-04T22:44:00.000+08:00

Heh, as much as I try to get back into blogging, I just can't seem to.

Don't know why, but it just seems that I've lost the passion to blog everyday. Or there again, it could be just that I find it seemingly pointless to let the entire world know the nitty gritty details of my daily life. Someone did tell me before that he thought it was stupid to just constantly blog about what one did the entire day. Journalling should have some thought put into it rather than just "Today, I woke up. Went to school. Lessons were boring... etc."

I mean, personally, I don't think it's stupid, but then again I do agree that there needs to be thought in journalling. Personal thoughts and emotions rather than just a mere recitation of the entire day's events.

Anyway, I don't blog much now because I seem to spend more time at my tribe blog. It's my church network's blog. Pastor Seng Lee and Josephine's network's blog. www.molmam.blogspot.com

Ever since Joshua made me part of the team I tend to focus more on posting posts for the tribe blog instead. But I guess I will be around my own blog now and then.

Got miracle Sunday off my shoulders, so that's like a big load off. The magic and all went off well, and I think the Lord really used that Sunday to reach out to many people. Heard that there were over 500 salvations. Even it were just 1 soul, then it would have been worth it. (: We all rejoice over a single soul which has been redeemed.

Spent most of today doing my group's final year project. Saravanan dropped a huge bombshell on us today. Apparently we've got an interview with some high flying lecturer next week pertaining to our project. Oh man, that means we've got to prepare alot of stuff.
Time really flies. I'll be graduating from polytechnic soon and heading for National Service soon. Time flies really fast. It was just like as though yesterday I was a freshman. Phew. Things are gonna change alot real soon..

Back to the start

2006-09-25T17:22:00.000+08:00

Didn't blog over the past weekend cos' I was at the encounter over at the GB campsite. All I can say about the encounter, is that it was awesome. Wanna see great things? Wanna feel the power of the Lord? Sign up for the next encounter or talk to me. ;)

Anyway, just got back from school a while ago. Man, school's started again. How crappy is that heh. Well, it's additionally crappy this semester as our whole class has been split up because of our final year electives. So like we've been split and assigned to classes all over the place. Only 7 of us in my class and the rest are like strangers. Really feels weird. I mean like we've been classmates for 2 and a half years already and now they split us up.

But on the brighter side, foodcourt 4 is back in operation! Yay! The renovations and stuff are finally done. The place looks great but it stinks. Smells of.... renovation. Haha. If that makes any sense. The best part is that....
THEY'VE FINALLY GOT CHICKEN RICE AND BAK CHOR MEE!!!!

When I first entered Singapore Polytechnic as a freshman, I told my class: Man, this foodcourt is crap. What kind of foodcourt doesn't have chicken rice or bak chor mee? Well, God answered my prayers! We can finally enjoy new food for our final semester. Haha.

Anyway, the past holidays were really short. It was only a month. I just wish I could let my brain die haha. Thinking is too much of a chore for me. I'm the brainless type. And this semester is really packed. Modules, FYP, spinnovex and all that. On top of my own personal commitments. And worst of all, the third term is incredibly long. 12 weeks long instead of 7. As some of us say... this one really must "lun".

Oh wells. Back to the start again.

So far, but yet so close

2006-09-21T01:28:00.000+08:00

The main thing for today was my FYP I guess.

Woke up around 1030, had lunch at 1130 and then headed down to school for our project work. It was like around 1.30 before we all arrived and then proceeded to the lab to do our project.

Managed to find Liew Hui Sing who helped us quite a bit with our project by giving us contacts and guidance pertaining to the UAV camera and stuff. Spent like most of the day doing up the project in his lab.

The project is going rather decently. I can't say that we're slow, but neither can I say that we're fast. It's like the submission period is so far but yet so close. Or rather so close but yet so far. Whichever you prefer. We've got about 2 months or so and we're kind of concerned whether we can get it done in time, and more importantly whether the UAV will work perfectly. I pray that God will really come through in this project and that it will be a success.

Another thing that's on my mind is the military coup up in Thailand. I was quite shocked when I first heard about it but then again, sometimes drastic measures have to be taken for there to be change. We've seen lots of that throughout the course of history. But looking at this situation, it just makes me thank God for how he has blessed us in Singapore with countless blessings, peace and stability.

Sometimes I guess we tend to take these things for granted. I know I have, which is why I always try to remind myself that there are people out there who are in much worse shape than myself. It's really about counting your blessings and not complaining about how we don't get more.

"One man's crap is another man's income."
(There's some saying like that lah, well this is my interpretation of it.)

Sunday / Monday

2006-09-18T22:51:00.000+08:00

Sunday

Sunday was interesting. Seemed to be a test of my fathering skills with some of my spirutual sons who I've never needed to sort of.. 'counsel'. But I'm still glad that the Lord is surfacing issues int their lives.

I was woken up by one of them at 7am in the morning. He called me and I woke up and had a splitting headache and I was kind of lost as to what he was telling me because I wasn't quite 'with it' at that time yet. Finally I sobered up and figured out what was going on and just helped him through it.

Later on, went over to Joel's house for our soccer outting. Played with some of the guys who stayed at his condo. A few of us had to leave early for the encounter briefing. When we reached expo, I guess the Lord raised another issue in another son's life. He had something on which conflicted with the encounter weekend and was struggling to make a decision as to which one to attend. So once again, I had to help him walk through the process and I'm glad he made the right decision.

I'm really thankful to God for giving me the oppurtunity to help them in such ways. I mean essentially I helped them in the same way that Evan and Pastor Seng Lee had been helping me over the years. Really appreciate their help, and it's sort of like passing on the blessing from them to my guys as well.

After service, had SLTC and did some sharing about ministry duties. After that headed down to Bedok hawker centre for dinner with Keng San, Eric, Eugene and Yu Fan. Had a good time eating. The milo dino there is very shiok man. $2.50, but it's topped with lots of whipped cream and caramel. Sedap man.

Headed down to Funan with them after that to walk walk, Keng San bought some printer stuff and I bought a new game, 'Company of Heroes'. (: It's really cool man. Walked around for about 45 minutes or so before heading home. And as expected, played the game like mad when I got home.

Monday

I was woken up pretty early by my mom. Was supposed to head down to school with Yee Leng and Debbie for our finaly year project but we were all caught indoors by the heavy rain.

Oh well, I ain't complaining. (: Stay at home and slacked. Played 'Company of Heroes' most of the day, took a much needed nap because of my late nights playing games. Think I napped for like 3 hours. It felt good. With the coolness of the day, it was just perfect.

So, pretty much a slack day today. But that's just me ain't it? Slack. Haha.

You know what is ... ?

2006-09-12T11:28:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was cool. Stayed home most of the time playing around with my laptop.

Went out for jamming at 7 though. Met up with Aaron at Funan at around 740 then headed to eat at the coffee shop behind excelsior hotel. After that met up with the rest of the guys at the g77 studio.

Was really fun man, been like months since I've jammed with the guys and it was just great to jam again. Did alot of nonsense, including some sort of blues worship song with aaron trying to imitate those blusey voices haha. It sounded good and was really fun. After that worked on some of our originals, "grave" and "longing".

Thankfully Mun is now with us haha. I can get free rides home after jamming. Yeah! :P

Oh and this morning when I woke up, I saw an e-mail from Keng San which had his t-shirt designs for our rubbish stuff haha. One t-shirt is on "tau-pok", one of our favourite hobby haha. And another one is on my famous saying in church, "You know what is, tian da lei pi?" haha.

Anyway, check it out:

Haha! Cool right?!?! muahah. love them.

Rested, recharged, and ready to go

2006-09-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

Well, today marked the end of our network's trip up to Muar.

I must say that it was really time well spent up there. I enjoyed the fellowship with my fellow brothers and sisters and of course with the Lord. Learnt alot up there, about myself, God and one another too.

I feel really rested and recharged now. I really managed to get a certain issue out of my life which has really made me feel so liberated. We all have our struggles in lives, our dark pasts, and I am no different.

One deep thing inside me that was surfaced was fear. Some people have told me before that they think I'm rather courageous and brave through some of my actions. Well, maybe, but still, the inside of me is filled with fear. Many kinds of fear. Fear probably is very evident in many people's lives.

For me, I have a fear of the dark. Not the literal meaning, but rather in another sense. Call me crazy if you want, but what I say is true. Someone told me this is what we call "Spiritual Intelligence", kind of like IQ but in the sense of the spiritual realm. To put it bluntly, I see things. But well, I think that's suffice to say.

But more so, I have a fear of dissappointing people who have high hopes on me. My Scout leaders, parents, pastors etcetera. It was really something buried deep inside of me. In my instances I let fear take control of me, and the onle way I deal with it is by hurting myself.

But up in Muar, I encountered God in such a powerful way and I feel that He has fully liberated me from all fear. (:

Thank God.

FYP, FYP

2006-09-05T17:58:00.000+08:00

Phew. My nose is really running around today man.

Woke up around 12 or so. Got up just in time for lunch haha. After lunch, played some games then headed down to Yee Leng's place for our FYP. My nose first started sniffling there when I was sanding some of the wooden parts. Really dusty.

Anyway, made some decent progress today. The tail, wing and fuselage is more or less done already. Think we'll get it flying next week.

After that, headed home and tidied up my room. Miracle eh? haha. My desk is so clean now haha. I can actually see my desk now. haha.

Busy Holidays?

2006-09-04T21:22:00.000+08:00

Well, this seems to be getting to be quite a busy holiday season.

Was helping out at the Unit Leaders' Basic Training Course on Saturday and Sunday at Sarimbun Scout Camp. Had a really great time there. The course was fun, even though I wasn't a participant. Had fun just hanging out with the trainers and making some new friends. It was quite an interesting basic course cos' it was like the first time I had ever seen a Deputy Commissioner and some executive HQ staff attending the course haha. But then again it was cos' they are sort of honourary members who are still required to go through the course.

Oh and the Serangoon PLTC was going on simultaneously. So I dropped by their campsite to say hi to some friends, Hamidah, Hui Kang and Ahamad. Was really great to see them. The campfire was on Sunday and it was great too. The weekend was just great.

From playing a fool around camp with Gina, Ibrahim, Samir and the whole lot by blowing bubbles and stuff to just gorging ourselves with food haha. Anyways it was a great weekend.

It was great also because my mom bought me a new laptop! Muahaha. Sweet little piece of hardware it is. Intel Centrino Duo Core 1.8gHz, 1gb ram, 128mb Geforce 7 series. Solid man. For a laptop that is. I think it's better than my desktop haha. Great great great. haha. I love this piece of hardware. Sweet, soft and smooth. (:

As for today, was supposed to go down and help out with the course again but didn't go, as I thought I should spend the time doing my Final Year Project instead. So our group met up at Yee Leng's house, except for Jian Xun cos' he was working. Our plane is looking quite decent now. Think we can get it up and operational by next week. (We hope that is..) heh.

So anyways, yea. It's gonna be quite a busy holiday season. Maybe it won't be so busy after I'm done with the Muar trip. Planning can really take alot out of you. Anyways, I'll be back soon. Hope I can get back into the habit of blogging. Maybe I'll have something more worthwhile to blog soon.

Redeemer

2006-08-17T13:51:00.000+08:00

My Jesus is better
Than anything in this world
He loves me, I love Him
So I give Him everything

He gave His life for me

My Saviour
Is living in me
Redeemer
JESUS He sets me free

He's living in my heart
He gave me a new start
I asked Him, He came in
And washed away all my sin

He gave His life for me
He died to set me free

If You can use anything
Won't You use me
Take me and break me and
Mould me and make me
You died for me
So I'm living for You
I'm living for You
I'm living for You

Whoa!
Jesus He sets me free

-----------------------------------
Love this new song from planet shakers. Redeemer. Alright.

If You can use anything won't You use me,
Take me and break me and mould me and make me,
You died for me so I'm living for You,
I'm living for You,
I'm living for You!

Oskay

2006-08-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

Alright, my first update within the past 2 weeks or so... Phee Weet.

Anyway, nothing much la. I live a boring life so all you people out there surfing my blog really don't have much to read. (:

Exam period now man. Boring stuff. Think I flunked my first paper, Avionic Systems. I opened the paper and I was like "duh...", and almost passed out but heck. I just did it. I think my whole paper was like a whole load of crap. Haha. Oh wells. I'll just have to see how it goes.

Mechanics III paper tomorrow. Crap. At least I'll have quite a long break till my next paper. Exams stink...

Anyways. Back to mugging.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

2006-08-03T21:38:00.000+08:00

Well what can I say?

Life just takes on a whole new perspective now. Never thought of it before.

It's a whole new ball game now..

Planetshakers are comin' to town!

2006-07-25T17:04:00.000+08:00

Ultraviolet Concert 2006
Planetshakers

Date : 11 Aug (Fri) & 12 Aug (Sat)
Time : 7.30pm
Venue : MAX Pavillion, Spore Expo Hall 10
Price : Student/NSF: $4 per ticket
Working Adult: $8 per ticket

The time has come for the Planetshakers Team to shake another region of the globe. Uniting with Faith Community Baptist Church in Singapore for the Youth Harvest Weekend on August 11 & 12, the Planetshakers Team are excited about sharing the love of Jesus in this religiously diverse nation. Powerful praise and worship and anointed preaching - this will be an encounter with the power of God like none other!

VISIT www.fcbc.org.sg/ultraviolet !!

- B U S Y -

2006-07-25T16:36:00.000+08:00

okay, like i said. won't be blogging much. at least till the Gangshow is over. really hectic week man.

doing up the presentations, pictures, salvaging all my data from my laptop which burned out. still got school projects and gotta study too. argh.
gonna be real busy. wait. i am real busy.

so like i said, won't be blogging till the gangshow is over. cya!

those words i hate..

2006-07-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

had gangshow rehearsal from 1 - 6. went to mr chay's place to scan photos. headed for dinner at kovan with him, hong yi, marcus, andrew and keith.

received an sms during dinner. it had some words which i hated to hear the most. "You won't understand..."

i'm just so... sigh. i don't even know how to describe it. i'm just so down now. it's the feeling of someone you care for and someone whom you want to be there for saying to you, "you can't be there for me."

i don't know. is it all worth it?

- UPDATE - UPDATE -

2006-07-14T00:31:00.000+08:00

haha. oh-KAY!! i'm finally blogging again.

man, really need to get back into the habit of blogging daily, or at least on a regular basis. i haven't even been to my blog for ages la. dunno how long sia. anyway, here goes. i'll try to get back to my regular day to day blogging.

ok i slept at 3am. actually didn't intend to go to school (yes i know i'm a bad boy ;)), but still went anyways. cos my bro woke me up. if not i was planning to sleep in. anyway got to school late, didn't go to my first class. went for breakfast haha. then met up with the rest of the class, then they ate, and by the time we reached our second class it ended haha. but we still had attendance taken. dunno why the lecturer decided to give a short lecture.

after that... went to play CS. long time no play sia. played for about 2 hours plus. then after that was like thinking whether i should go for aircraft systems tutorial. decided to go for it in the end since i've already received a warning letter for that module. went there, and well, essentially just wasted like 1 hour of my life. really waste time one sia.

anyway, after that headed home. played com for a bit and watched this interesting private eye show on HBO. it was really good sia, the plot and everything. anyway, after that, went out for dinner with the band, aaron, dylan, ben and chee mun. initially wanted to eat at cartel at city hall, but it was really crowded. waited for like half an hour plus before we all just piled into chee mun's car and headed down to tiong bahru to eat instead haha. just sat around and talked cock, and listened to aaron's sharing about the hillsongs conference he was at. exciting stuff.

headed home after that. chee mun drove me home. man he has like all the mr brown podcasts in his car la and we were just listening to them back to back throughout the entire ride. finally got home, and after i got out of the car and walked away, i realized i left my phone in his car. sian sia. i dashed all the way home. he dropped me off at the other end of my condo, which was about a good 100 meters to my block. so i quickly dashed all the way to my block which had a phone, but somehow it didn't accept my 10 cent coin. so i took the lift up to my house and called using my house phone. then this aaron try and be funny sia, act like some coffee shop uncle trying to scare me haha. well, Thank God that chee mun was nice enough to drive back to my place to pass me back my phone. thanks man.

so yea that's about it for today. i hope i'll be able to blog on a daily basis again. haha. but you know me la, lazy, lazy, lazy. haha. (:

a late birthday

2006-07-03T11:46:00.000+08:00

okay well, i'm finally updating. just didn't really feel like updating last week.

my birthday was last week and well, as per normal, it's usually one of the most crappiest time of the year. it was a tough week for me and i just couldn't take any crap. it's just.. bah. forget it. hm. forgetting it. maybe that's always the problem eh. bah heck.

anyway the week went on. i was just very sianned out. what's the point of people saying that your birthday is a special day if they don't act on it. what make's it special then?

enough about the screwed up part.

guess the highlight of the week was saturday thanks to alot of people. especially Leonard.

had G12 meeting in the morning, then went for lunch with evan and all then headed down to pasir ris to meet leonard and his cell. i was joining in their cell just to look see look see and also to play badminton with them after that. so we had cell, shared some stuff and then we played badminton. played for quite a while then we headed down to leonard's house where he had a 'surprise' for me. wasn't really a surprise la because i kinda knew la. he bought a cake and his mom made a pizza for all of us. i knew cos he was like very gan jiong about whether i was having dinner with him and then he left for a while and called back to ask someone to ask me what date was my birthday haha.

then when i reached his house, he told shairul to make me sit and wait in his room. haha. it was pretty obvious that they had something up their sleeves. anyway, they brought a cake in after that and.. well.. "surprise!". haha. well anyway, really appreciated it.

no one had ever done something like that for me. and i really appreciated it. even timothy came down much later just to pray for me. that's family. that's friendship.

THANKS to all of the guys. (Jeffery, Syh Leong, Alson, Bernard, Shairul, and of course Leonard (: ) oh and leonard's parents. heh.

strange how the people closest to you would never do that for you.
even after all you've done.
that's just life.

A long way..

2006-06-26T16:44:00.000+08:00

oSkay! say say SAY ! lol.

i'm finally blogging again. wow. haha. anyways. lots has happened over the past few weeks. things have really come a long way.

okay let's see. Tribe Camp

tribe camp was incredible. it was probably a turning point in my life for this year at least. really opened my eyes to the larger family. really loved it. forged many new relationships there, and now i really feel part of a family. got 2 new younger brothers from the camp too. Leonard & Jonathan. (: hehe. Really happy about that.

-------------

Camp Nara

okay. just like what, 3 days after tribe camp. was really bust before the camp, doing all the camp preperations and stuff. then came the camp itself. camp was kinda okay for a pilot project. i felt it went kinda well, and so did some of the other leaders. camp was fun. saw all the smiles on the boys' faces and yea, it was just great. was kinda stressed out during the camp for some reasons which i shall not mention, and actually i did break down. but anyways, it was fun nonetheless. i'll take back many memories from the camp, the kayaking and all. especially when terry and yu jin pinned me down and keith splashed a pail of water over me. it's nice to have some attention from people around you once in a while, rather than just be a loner.

that's about it for camp la. don't really want to go into details. otherwise it'd be very long heh.

----------

Miracle Sunday

It was great as well! oh man! I really thank God that so many things are just going so well. it was really a day of faith for me. God really proved himself to me, and showed how He will be faithful to those who are faithful to him. And i really thank God for yesterday. everything seems to be getting back to normal. keith is back at church, we spent a long time talking last night. felt really great. fred came as well, even tho he still faces parental objection, but still it's a miracle. gavin came and brought home something special.

it was a great miracle. for me at least.

;;; anyways. yea. that's all i guess. well. about 7 more hours to go! ;)

We went, we saw, we conquered.

2006-06-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

Alright, I'm finally feeling better so I shall blog about the Mount Kinabalu trip. I'll say, it was really great. (:

Day 1

Woke up early and met everyone over at TCT. Did some preperations and then we all headed off to Senai Airpot in JB via bus. Caught a flight over to Kota Kinabalu and arrived there around 3 to 4 I think.

Picture taken from the plane. Cool eh?

Okay, so after we arrived, we took a bus up to Rose Cabin, which was kind of like an inn some 1.8km up the mountain. So the ride was pretty long, think about 2 hours or more. Most of us slept, naturally. Well we arrived at the cabin and the view there was great. It was such a lovely place.

Cool 'zhnged' Merc at the cabin
Breathtaking huh?

Anyways, finished up our preperations and stuff, showered and all that. Oh yea, it was freaking cold up there. Hard to shower haha.

Day 2

Okay, start of the BIG day. Had breakfast and grabbed our gear, caught a bus up to the Park Headquarters where we would start our climb from, Timpohon Gate.
Looking at the challenge..
So basically we just climbed lor. Ahha. What's there to say? Yea lots of fun stuff happened on the way.. Like how we'd self entertain ourselves with songs and Mr Brown stuff haha. Oh yes, our inspiration was.... CHAI TAO KUEH. ahah.

Well we climbed till 3,261m where we reached the Laban Rata resthouse. Nice place man..
Group 3!!!
We touched the sky..

It was pretty cold up there. About 5 degrees celcius. We arrived there around 5+pm I think, so we checked in to the cabin there and had dinner. Oh yea, the cabin isn't what you think it is. It isn't some nice wooden log cabin which is nice and warm and heated and stuff or some kind of hotel. At least that was what I was hoping, LOL! (j/k) It was more of a shed, with rooms in it. Each room slept 4 people with double-decker beds. NO HEATING whatsoever. Whatever hot water there was in the toilets, it would be used up very fast. So I didn't shower, too cold. Used those waterless soap and shampoo. AFter that... slept. For about 5 hours. Had to sleep with all our cold wear on, because that's how cold it is when we're up there. Especially after the sun sets. Anyways, slept at 830pm. Woke up at 130am because we had to get ready to push for the summit. In order to reach the summit on time, we'd have to leave at 230am. So yea this is kind of going into day 3.

So, we hauled ourselves out of our cold beds, tried to find some warm breakfast in the kitchen which was buzzing with people. I actually had nothing to eat.. nothing warm at least but thank God Jeffery had spare cereal so he gave me 2 packets. So Sai Leong and I made it with hot water and boy that felt good.
Okay so we started pushing for the summit. Man, it was fun. Gotta like scale some rock faces and stuff with ropes but it wasn't that scary because it was all dark and we couldn't see anything anyways. haha. Well our group didn't make it up to the summit in time for the sunrise, but I did catch it slightly lower. It was still beautiful.
The sunrise shot I managed to catch. It's tilted cos' I had to rest the camera on a rock in order to get a clear shot.

So we continued to push up and.. yea. We reached the summit. Low's peak it's called. 4095.2m

another sunrise shot
at the peak!
Low's Peak

Well, this is where the terror started. We were so hyped up about the summit that we forgot we had to climb down to the bottom. Hahah. Let's just say that from 230am onwards, we climbed till 6pm. Very, VERY, tiring. Oh yes, and on the way down from the summit, I fell. Haha. Slipped on a wet rock and landed on my knee. Had only a few scratches, but it still hurt like mad. Thank God I was wearing 2 layers of pants if not it would have been much worse off. The rock cut right through both my pants to my knee, and both pairs of pants have a big hole in it now. Zzz. New pants some more... Haha.
I'm a certified first-aider! (i think it's time for my refresher though... haha)

Yea. So from about 9am all the way to 6pm, I hobbled down Mount Kinabalu. Not exactly something fun. We were really tired, everyone was exhausted and fatigued, especially since we were the sweeper group right at the end. And since I was hobbling too haha. We started to split up towards the end cos everyone was like moving at different speeds. I remember towards the end I really ran. Not so much that I wanted to reach the end but I was trying to move so fast that the pain couldn't catch up. Haha. Sounds stupid, but it worked.

So we reached back the gate, rested there and waited for the rest to arrive before hopping on the bus back to the city. Phew. It was tough, but we did it.

Day 4

Day 4 was fun! White water rafting. Got a nice tan. Ahaha. So we just rafted lor. Really fun, we were all catching up with one another, splashing one another with water and pulling people off their rafts. We had body rafting after that. That was where we'd dismount from our rafts and just float along the currents. We didn't really do it right the first time so some of us really got injured bad. I know Eunice has a huge blue black on her knee. I see already pain sia haha. For me, my tail bone got hit by a rock. It was really pain but not that bad la. Anyway, we went for a second try but the second time we all got caught in the wrong current and we were like drifting in a circle. Haha. It was hilarious but you gotta be there to laugh with us man.

So we continued rafting until we reached our end point where we had a barbeque lunch. Headed back to the hotel after that where it was R&R all the way. Did alot of shopping and stuff cos we'd be leaving early the next morning. So yea I won't blog about the return trip anyway.
Oh yea i'll post the rafting pictures after I've scanned them haha.

Anyways, All in all it was a great trip. Really enjoyed it, spending time with the guys and gals from our tribe. Also, it was just so amazing to just stand in awe of God's creation.

I loved the trip. (:

We went, we saw, we conquered.

2006-06-12T22:06:00.000+08:00

Alright, I'm finally feeling better so I shall blog about the Mount Kinabalu trip. I'll say, it was really great. (:

Day 1

Woke up early and met everyone over at TCT. Did some preperations and then we all headed off to Senai Airpot in JB via bus. Caught a flight over to Kota Kinabalu and arrived there around 3 to 4 I think.

Picture taken from the plane. Cool eh?

Okay, so after we arrived, we took a bus up to Rose Cabin, which was kind of like an inn some 1.8km up the mountain. So the ride was pretty long, think about 2 hours or more. Most of us slept, naturally. Well we arrived at the cabin and the view there was great. It was such a lovely place.

Cool 'zhnged' Merc at the cabin
Breathtaking huh?

Anyways, finished up our preperations and stuff, showered and all that. Oh yea, it was freaking cold up there. Hard to shower haha.

Day 2

Okay, start of the BIG day. Had breakfast and grabbed our gear, caught a bus up to the Park Headquarters where we would start our climb from, Timpohon Gate.
Looking at the challenge..
So basically we just climbed lor. Ahha. What's there to say? Yea lots of fun stuff happened on the way.. Like how we'd self entertain ourselves with songs and Mr Brown stuff haha. Oh yes, our inspiration was.... CHAI TAO KUEH. ahah.

Well we climbed till 3,261m where we reached the Laban Rata resthouse. Nice place man..
Group 3!!!
We touched the sky..

It was pretty cold up there. About 5 degrees celcius. We arrived there around 5+pm I think, so we checked in to the cabin there and had dinner. Oh yea, the cabin isn't what you think it is. It isn't some nice wooden log cabin which is nice and warm and heated and stuff or some kind of hotel. At least that was what I was hoping, LOL! (j/k) It was more of a shed, with rooms in it. Each room slept 4 people with double-decker beds. NO HEATING whatsoever. Whatever hot water there was in the toilets, it would be used up very fast. So I didn't shower, too cold. Used those waterless soap and shampoo. AFter that... slept. For about 5 hours. Had to sleep with all our cold wear on, because that's how cold it is when we're up there. Especially after the sun sets. Anyways, slept at 830pm. Woke up at 130am because we had to get ready to push for the summit. In order to reach the summit on time, we'd have to leave at 230am. So yea this is kind of going into day 3.

So, we hauled ourselves out of our cold beds, tried to find some warm breakfast in the kitchen which was buzzing with people. I actually had nothing to eat.. nothing warm at least but thank God Jeffery had spare cereal so he gave me 2 packets. So Sai Leong and I made it with hot water and boy that felt good.
Okay so we started pushing for the summit. Man, it was fun. Gotta like scale some rock faces and stuff with ropes but it wasn't that scary because it was all dark and we couldn't see anything anyways. haha. Well our group didn't make it up to the summit in time for the sunrise, but I did catch it slightly lower. It was still beautiful.
The sunrise shot I managed to catch. It's tilted cos' I had to rest the camera on a rock in order to get a clear shot.

So we continued to push up and.. yea. We reached the summit. Low's peak it's called. 4095.2m

another sunrise shot
at the peak!
Low's Peak

Well, this is where the terror started. We were so hyped up about the summit that we forgot we had to climb down to the bottom. Hahah. Let's just say that from 230am onwards, we climbed till 6pm. Very, VERY, tiring. Oh yes, and on the way down from the summit, I fell. Haha. Slipped on a wet rock and landed on my knee. Had only a few scratches, but it still hurt like mad. Thank God I was wearing 2 layers of pants if not it would have been much worse off. The rock cut right through both my pants to my knee, and both pairs of pants have a big hole in it now. Zzz. New pants some more... Haha.
I'm a certified first-aider! (i think it's time for my refresher though... haha

Yea. So from about 9am all the way to 6pm, I hobbled down Mount Kinabalu. Not exactly something fun. We were really tired, everyone was exhausted and fatigued, especially since we were the sweeper group right at the end. And since I was hobbling too haha. We started to split up towards the end cos everyone was like moving at different speeds. I remember towards the end I really ran. Not so much that I wanted to reach the end but I was trying to move so fast that the pain couldn't catch up. Haha. Sounds stupid, but it worked.

So we reached back the gate, rested there and waited for the rest to arrive before hopping on the bus back to the city. Phew. It was tough, but we did it.

Day 4

Day 4 was fun! White water rafting. Got a nice tan. Ahaha. So we just rafted lor. Really fun, we were all catching up with one another, splashing one another with water and pulling people off their rafts. We had body rafting after that. That was where we'd dismount from our rafts and just float along the currents. We didn't really do it right the first time so some of us really got injured bad. I know Eunice has a huge blue black on her knee. I see already pain sia haha. For me, my tail bone got hit by a rock. It was really pain but not that bad la. Anyway, we went for a second try but the second time we all got caught in the wrong current and we were like drifting in a circle. Haha. It was hilarious but you gotta be there to laugh with us man.

So we continued rafting until we reached our end point where we had a barbeque lunch. Headed back to the hotel after that where it was R&R all the way. Did alot of shopping and stuff cos we'd be leaving early the next morning. So yea I won't blog about the return trip anyway.
Oh yea i'll post the rafting pictures after I've scanned them haha.

Anyways, All in all it was a great trip. Really enjoyed it, spending time with the guys and gals from our tribe. Also, it was just so amazing to just stand in awe of God's creation.

I loved the trip. (:

2006-06-10T22:35:00.000+08:00

tired; sick. update will come tomorrow or something.

off i go.

2006-06-05T06:35:00.000+08:00

well. just about to leave to meet the rest for the mount K trip. really excited. i'll be back to blog loads about it people. so wait for me!! heh.

basic course was really great too. i'll blog about it when i get back... if i remember that is. haha.

bye all!

a special day ;)

2006-05-31T01:19:00.000+08:00

okay. took a cab down to school today cos i had to drop off my grandma at my auntie's place. class was pretty boring, as usual. lab was kinda okay though. had to finish our circuit today.. so just did it up lor. not too bad, just that my IC was a bit off in position and i missed out a connection. so had to cheat a bit to fix it. probably lost a few marks off there.

then yuan li and haireel started taking the mess i made with the solder metal and turned it into some sort of robot. lol. very funny. i'll post a pic up another time.

after lab, went to study mech a bit then headed down to PS. met with wanru then went to look for xin wen. xin wen.. aiyo... cool hair now eh? :P

ok so we went to KFC to sit around first. then bluffed him that his present was... something... hm... 'unique'. ahah. and he believed it. eh xinwen... hot eh? ;)
then dunno how it came about but someone mentioned about 15 year old bdae means must kena whack 15 times. ahaha. then i said to xin wen "eh i whack u ah.." then he was like... "whack la...." then he stuck his cheek out and ask me to whack. then i really punched him. then at first he like shocked but then he asked for more. LoL!

anyway, after that went over to fish and co to get a table first. then had to wait a while so went to walk walk. and in the meantime was still punching him. ahaha :P i'm mean. so anyway had dinner, dinner was fun. ate alot, took alot of pics. just hope xin wen had a great time (:

well that's about it la. headed home after that.

Xin Wen: Hey! happy 15th! okay la okay la. maybe more than 20 times la. don't worry la.. you will get ur chance to get revenge soon. :P
=(

ahaha.

Change, Change. Change!

2006-05-29T18:33:00.000+08:00

Went out for a run just now. Was just running quite slowly, enjoying the scenary and stuff. Just reflecting on what's been happening. I tend to listen to mp3s while I jog. Headed out from Serangoon Gardens, down to Yio Chu Kang road and then back to Serangoon North Ave 1.

As I was approaching my house, a song started playing. It was a song that I came to know about through someone special. Well this person is someone whom I seem to have lost. Memories just started to flood into my mind, joyous moments, pain and sorrow. I started running faster and faster. I don't know why. For the record, I'm quite a bad runner. I was actually targetting to reach my bus stop and it was there where I would take a rest. But as I kept listening to the song, my mind kind of snapped. So I ran. I just ran. Dashed all the way home and I just didn't want to stop. Strange, being a bad runner I'd love to stop. Maybe I was just trying to run away.

Well, it's been more than a week since we last talked. I do get nightmares. I imagine things, like bad things happening to him. But I guess I'm learning how to let go, and just let God. I'm really trying to believe in God's sovereignty. I really pray that God will guide me through this. I've lost sons before, and it's really a painful experience. Especially in this case. But, oh well. I just hope things turn out for the best God.

Please do your thing. I'll do my best to follow. Even though I know not where it leads me to. I'll just believe.

it's a saturday!

2006-05-27T21:15:00.000+08:00

alright! saturday! i can sleep in! muahahaha. slept in till about 11.

woke up.. then went to prepare my uniform and get my lunch ready. it was too rush for my grandma to cook for me so i just heated up the pizza we ordered yesterday. so after that went down to hq.

hung around scout shop for quite a while, talk cock with nic.. then went up for course. was quite surprised cos 2 out of 3 of today's session givers were Mr. Chay and ET! ahah. anyways, course was quite okay. made new friends in a way. anyways, really looking forward to the camp this friday.

Gina made me help her do some camp admin for friday.. so now i don't owe her dinner for getting me into the course anymore. ahaha. anyways, i don't know what's with her calling me kelvin. she says i have a kelvin look. hah right.

after the course went to j8 with some of the guys.. lol duno their names. keep forgetting. went to buy a cake then we went our own ways. cake? cos it's my sister's birthday! priscilla's bdae. that's right. so bought her a black forest cake. yummy. we shall indulge in that later.

anyways, time for my daily dosage of beck! muahaha.

exactly one month's time,
but let's just ignore it this time. (:

maho-chan! (:

2006-05-27T00:24:00.000+08:00

hehe. ignore that title.

anyways, past week has been kinda great. just been learning alot, in every aspect, especially in my spiritual walk. anyways, things have just been great.

family returned home. finally (: mom bought me this nice chain with a cross formed out of a dog tag. really love it. so my whole family's around now. really noisy haha. well my sister michelle started to clear out her room, and good thing she did. she uncovered alot of my stuff which i deposited there over the years haha.

okay, items found:

1. Shades (Ryder shades - rather ex american brand shades... lost 2002)
2. Watch (Fossil watch - VERY ex. was a gift. heng she found them haha. lost 2005)

hm, well those are the main stuff. still got some random stuff here and there... books, toys etc. haha. but anyways, i'm happy i got my stuff back ahaha.

just got home from jamming a while ago. tonight's jam was fun. went to magic box, did some recordings but mainly played around haha. i finally started watching 'beck' this week. some anime on a band one.. really nice. ben passed it to me like 2 weeks ago but i only started watching it now haha... and i'm freaking addicted to it! lol.

i love it. haha. dunno what to post anymore. bye bye :P

-----------------------------

------------JUNE BABY-------------
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

lol. that's hilarious. a bit off eh? maybe the flirt part correct la haha. the rest... haha not too sure la. but oh well, if they insist haha. hottie? looks? ahaha. suuuuure.

I was made to hit in aHmeiRiKa!

I LOVE beck!

2006-05-26T11:07:00.000+08:00

i'm addicted. (:

full moon sways

that's the way it is

2006-05-23T21:16:00.000+08:00

Feel alot better now. A little sick though. Down with the flu. Sucks.

Anyways, I guess God is just teaching me how to let go and trust in him. I mean thinking about it, I was like that once. It's a control thing. I want to control someone so badly to help him avoid all the bad sectors but hey, people have got to walk it on their own. I looked back at my own life, and really, I've been there, done that.

But things turned out well still, not because somebody started holding my leash tightly, but because God dealt with me. So I'll just leave it to him. That's all there is to him.

Still

2006-05-22T10:54:00.000+08:00

Lord, I commit this as a prayer unto you.

Hide me now,
Under your wings.
Cover me,
Within your mighty hand.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with you above the storm.
Father you are king over the flood,
I will be still and know you are God.

Find rest my soul,
In Christ alone.
Know his power,
In quietness and trust.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar,
I will soar with you above the storm.
Father you are king over the flood,
I will be still and know you are God.

When the ocanes rise and thungers roar,
I will soar with you above the storm.
Father youa re king over the flood,
I will be still and know you are God.

Father you are king over the flood,
I will be still and know you are God.

Father you are KING OVER THE FLOOD,
I will BE STILL and know YOU ARE GOD.

--------------

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. But with Christ, nothing is impossible. Absolutely nothing!

Fall afresh on me.

2006-05-21T18:15:00.000+08:00

Saturday

Well. Saturday was a really long day. Headed down to Barker for the Gangshow committee meeting. Went quite alright, settled some stuff with my department. After that followed the guys to Waffletown, had a quick chat with Keith. Rushed down to hq after that for my basic course.

Course was quite okay la. Lessons were rather boring but all of us managed to make it fun heh. Was kinda sianned out during the entire course as there were alot of things floating around my mind. And I've had quite little sleep during the week as well because I tend to lose sleep when I'm sad. =(

Anyways, after that headed home. Didn't really feel like going to meet up with Evan and the guys so I just smsed Evan saying that I won't be going because I wasn't feeling too good. Well, he didn't call me until I reached home. Then he asked,

"So what's wrong with you?"
"Kind of a headache.."
"Oh so physical thing la?"
"Um actually kind of my spiritual thing also la.."

Then like we talked a bit on the phone and he just asked me to meet up with them and join them, even though it would be quite late. The guys were going to stay over at his place anyways. So I thought, fine, I'll go. I was actually quite intrigued by the fact that Evan mentioned that it was physical, because it was like as though somehow he knew that it wasn't physical. I just felt like he knew, so I just took it as a prompting and I went to join them.

Met up with them at the new cathay cinema (we'd be watching the da vinci code at 0115). Talked to Evan there. Actually felt much better after I let it all out. He didn't pray for me, all he did was just listened to me, and encouraged me. Well that was all I needed. Managed to put the problems behind me for the time being and so managed to enjoy the rest of the night. Won't blog about that.

------------------------

Sunday

Well woke up around 9 plus, washed up and we all headed to the kopitiam for breakfast before heading to church. Got to church really early because they had to go for ushering duty but I wasn't doing today. So just hung around with my guitar. Met Basil, had a short chat with him. Hadn't talked to him for quite a long time.

Anyways, service started and I'll say, today's sermon was really for me. It really helped me alot and showed me what I was doing wrong. Because of my sins, my cell has begun to corrode. Today, I was intending to have cell but I cancelled it in the end. Why? Well, only 2 out of 8 people showed up.

The Lord showed me, through service as well as the time I spent with Evan, that yes, partly it is my fault. I mean I'm still learning how to be a good leader/father to the guys. Sometimes I feel like just controlling them completely, maybe I choke them too much even. Evan told me that I would just be a signboard for them. I advise and help them, but in the end they themselves will choose what to do. I thought I knew what's best for them and that by steering them MY WAY , things would be much better off. But I was wrong. I don't know what's best for them. I can help them that's all. Evan said that what I was doing, in a way was like 'playing God'. He told me that I have to learn, that no matter what happens, God is sovereign . He is always in control no matter what the situation.
So that's one thing I learnt. It's not me, but God.

Another important thing I learnt in service was about the fear of the Lord. Pastor Eugene said that some people just don't fear the Lord at all, and I think that gradually I've become one of them. Sometimes we just see the lovey-dovey side of God, and we forget that there is something called the wrath of God. And that wrath wiped out the entire Earth with a great flood save for Noah and his family. I realized I've done things that have displeased God, and I am being punished for it. God said this to me. "You know why only 2 of your guys showed up? Because you deprived Me of My time with you when you faltered and you stopped your quiet time and all communication with me. Because you deprived Me of that, I shall deprive you of your time with your children."

All I did was hang my head down in shame. Yes, it's true. But I want to change that. I thank God for his mercy, for there were alot of worse things that could have happened to me. But I decided to remain faithful, because He is a faithful God as well. I will believe, that even though like my guys are going through a tough phase, and myself as well, that God is sovereign.

My faith has been renewed, the flame rekindled. Lord I pray that you will help me through this walk. I want to seek your face and shine for you and put all my trust in you, for you reign above all and you are in control of these dire times.
Thank you.

I'm scared. Fear strikes.

2006-05-19T22:45:00.000+08:00

Things have kind of been shakey for me. (hm, shaky, shakey? ah whatever.)

I'll admit it. My spiritual walk hasn't been as it should be for the past month or so. I've not been doing what I should be doing, and I've been doing what I shouldn't be doing.
This is really scaring me.

The flesh is weak. Really weak. I need to break out of it and head back to the supernatural. I've been trying to get right again, but somehow I just keep failing. I'm not blaming anyone/anything else, but me. Yes, it's my fault. It's my mind that chooses to walk away from God and thus, sin has entered.

Am I scared becase there's sin in my life? Partly. But it's primarily something else. One of my biggest fear is that my spiritual sons will falter. Not just falter for no apparent reason, but because of my actions. How is this possible? People paying for someone else's sin? Yes, it's very possible. That's what we call corporate holiness. The entire church, or in this case my group, has to be uniformly holy before the Lord. Why? Because, as in life, all it takes is one rotten apple to spoil the entire crate. I've been reading James, and there's this small secion in my bible that states:

The Need for Self-Control:
... some of Jame's most striking imagery, show how simple greed and desire can corrode the church and destroy unity. And, indeed, many of the Jewish Christians he was writing to soon experienced an abrupt turn of fortune. They lost their wealth and seffered severe persecution.

I mean. Wow. Scary stuff huh? This short passage was kind of mainly focusing on money and greed, but it can be seen as parallel to anything in life. Eg, greed and desire. That's essentially sin. Not just greed for money, greed for anything from money to freedom to whatever, and desire, desiring to go our own way. Losing wealth? That can be parallel to God's blessing and favour. I mean I am really scared by this. Because I have seen this first-hand.

Some of my sons are beginning to falter. And should anything happen, I really feel that my hands are tainted with their blood. Why? Because, due to my actions, corporate holiness was broken. My "simple greed and desire" had "corroded the church and destroyed unity". (in this case not the church, my group) But still, it could still affect all the way up to the top.

My sons are so dear to me. They really bring so much joy to me. Especially now that my family is expanding. But yet I feel so guilty. I know, true, they have made their own actions and such and have some level of responsibility too. Yes I know that. But, I played a part too. When the spiritual father's/mother's blanket of protection and prayer is not upon the children, satan's doors are gradually opening up to their lives. As such, I am responsible too. I am scared.

I just really need to write all this down. Lord, I want to say to you now. I'm sorry, I am weak and have faltered, but I want to get right with you again. And I think anyone who has should do so as well.

James 4:7 - 10
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will life you up."

I really want to live by that. Lord, help me. And help my sons as well, no matter what they are going through. Garry, Chris, Frederick, Joel, Joel Ong, and in this time now especially Marcus and Keith. Lord please guide us.

Thank you.

Keith: Don't give up on me and Him now buddy. We can get through this together. Please. (:

Marcus: He's waiting for you, still.

boom.

2006-05-19T15:30:00.000+08:00

school was okay. sara didn't come for class again. on mc. so yeh no APP.

anyways getting really pissed off at the sulaiman shit.
they just better not cross me.

Daniel Khong can be a very paitient person, but just don't make him cross that thin line. Otherwise you'd live to regret it. Trust me.

Broke. $$$

2006-05-18T17:06:00.000+08:00

okay. quite lazy today. woke up on time for class.. but just didn't feel like going. OM.. how sian is that.

so i just slept an extra hour then headed down for mechanics lecture. oh by the way, YEE LENG STOP MAKING FUN ABOUT ME AND SULAIMUN AH... LATER I TI BA BOAM THEN YOU KNOW. heh. haha.

anyways, after lecture, weijie, jason, jx, edwin and i went to eat at foodcourt 3.. then just slacked around lor. after that went to look for debbie, yee leng and yuan li who went for a swim. we all headed down to jurong point after that. went there, debbie yuan li and yeeleng ate lunch while we just hung around, walk walk yea. went arcade for a while but didn't play.

headed back to school for systems tutorial. dang boring la. he doesn't know what he's teaching man. but at least we all managed to figure out some stuff. anyways, headed home after lecture.

kinda tired now. zzz. maybe i'll take a nap later. meanwhile, downloading cd pro 2 episodes. ahaha. and they've got a sequel out like wth? ahaha.

oh yes and i'm really very broke now. had $64 today, but spent $52 on bus concession, so yea. do the math. i'm left with $10 cos i spent on lunch too. $10 for 2 weeks.
cha-ching. daniel khong... is... dare i say it? *shudder* broke. wahaha.

Life?

2006-05-17T22:00:00.000+08:00

okay. finally posing again. changed my skin again. dunno why. just felt like it.

well, life's pretty irritating ain't it? some times we feel like we're the king of the mountain, and some times we feel like a little maggot. ups and downs people, ups and downs. somehow seems like there are more down than ups.

but i've realized, that it's just us. seems like we're going no where. just travelling in full circles, landing right where we started. and.. well.. that really sucks, doesn't it? heh. those are times you ask yourself, hm, why? why do i even bother. and yea, the whole enchilada starts. the suicidal thoughts, depression, you know, the works.

life is tough. really tough. we humans really just like to look backwards instead of forward. "the good ol' times" we call 'em. some how, we just always fail to realize that those "good ol' times" ain't coming back. no sir-ree. so what do we gotta do? we gotta look straight ahead. keep our chins up. sure, life is full or surprises and challenges. problems surfacing here and there.. but hey, we've got to just get around them. life is too short to be worrying about all these shaninigans. let's focus on more important thing's at hand.

life will be challenging, but it's how we look at it that makes us who we are.

and life is worth the living,
just because He lives.

2130 = 830

2006-05-14T19:30:00.000+08:00

okay. shall blog about yesterday first. saturday. quite an okay day, expensive though.

woke up late for work. it was kinda messed up. cos like the night before, i set my alarm and all BUT i forgot to activate it. like what the heck right.. haha. but luckily my grandma came into my room to wake me up. was still late, but bo bian lor.

changed into uniform, hopped into a cab and headed to hq. (first relatively large expenditure of the day - $8). so went in for work... thought there was course but there wasn't... so nevermind lor. would be working anyways. so worked.. fooled around alot la. but i shall not comment on what happened inside scout shop. ahaha. lest i be eternally condemned. LoL. after work, rushed home. threw my stuff back home and headed down to PS to meet weijie, marcus and jx for MI3.

okay, weijie and i arrived first. so went to get tickets. weijie went to buy using the ticket machine. ($9.50 - another large expenditure) i was hungry, so we went to BK. bought a meal ($6 - ouch). jx and marcus came along. so we went up to buy popcorn and nachos and all that, all ready to go in for the movie. showed our tickets and walked into the cinema. ??? there was a show going on already ??? like what the flying fish?? lol. then the guy came up and checked our tickets... "uh ur ticket is for the 9.30pm show..." lol. it was 8.30pm. we had wanted to watch the 830 show but weijie pressed the wrong button. he thought 2130 was 8.30pm. LoL -.-

anyways, show was good. but ended late. managed to catch the last train back to serangoon, but there were no more busses. so cabbed home lor. ($5 - bleah)

total expenditure for the day (excluding some misc. stuff): $28.50
bought the bass that day... $260... so like yea. it's official folks. i'm broke. $$$

----------------------

okay now for sunday. okay day too. ushering duty at church was quite fun, and service was good too. went to celebrate mother's day with mabel and her girls haha. oh yeah before ushering duty then there was this icebreaker thingy. this dancing thing ps victor made us do. then had to dance with the girls. pretty funny. some of us quite blur haha. bee hong also damn blur hha. sotong. lol. anyways that's about it la for today.

oh yeah, had a chat with jedd that got me thinking. if you notice, this post is completely free of the words damn, bloody and screwed. trying to refrain from them. (:

can you tell me why you say you tell me you dowan tur kwa when you didn't, HUH?

an old friend

2006-05-13T11:46:00.000+08:00

oh yeah forgot one cool thing about yesterday.

i met an old friend.

as i was on my way to my uncle's place. this familiar looking guy boarded the bus i was one. "hm, is that luke wee?" i thought to myself. and i was like trying to get a better glance at him... you know, shifting my head all over the place and squinting my eyes.

he started to come closer.. and he too started to kinda "eyeball" me. yeap. it was luke wee. we both started smiling. then he came and sat beside me. "you look like daniel khong," he said. lol.

anyway chatted with him throughout the entire bus ride.. was really good to catch up with him again. anyway, yea this is what i forgot to blog about. so.. here it is. ahaha.

expensive day

2006-05-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

well. today was quite interesting. in a weird way. just blew another $260. haha!

here's how it went. woke up... then suddenly had this feeling to go to luther's music webbie. so i went and like checked out basses. then some guy was selling this bass really cheap. and it was a relatively good bass. saw many good reviews on it. old, but good. so anyways, kinda keen, so i just emailed the guy. he replied pretty soon and he said he may be selling it off already so he asked me to quickly go down to his place if i wanted it.

so i was like deciding for a while... cos actually i don't have the money yet. so anyways, just borrowed $200 from my grandma first and then heaed down to his place at bukit panjang. got there... met him.. he was some chinese dude. as in... yea. chinese-chinese. he was like renting a room in someone else's HDB flat that kinda thing. anyways, he looked really scruffy, and when i got to the flat it was even worse. the whole place was a mess. i thought that was bad but it wasn't. at least not till i stepped into his room.

whew! the air was like stale. like... expired 3 years ago kinda stale. pee yew. dirt and dust and his stuff all over the place and like.. oh man... just sick. anyways, tried out the bass. sound-wise, it was everything i ever wanted. aesthetics-wise... um. CMI lor. lol. 2 out of 3 knobs were missing. the knobs are faulty. some dents here and there. chipped paint. fret board had like white stuff on it, fungi? sick. anyways, i really liked the sound tho.

i was really caught in a pickle there and then. should i or should i not? by right i shouldn't la, but the thing was he was throwing in an effects pedal with the bass. i mean the price of $260 would get me like an effects pedal and a sixth of a bass out in the market. this was really a steal, just that the stuff were a bit old. but old doesn't mean bad. anyways so i decided, i'll take it. so he packed it up and all.. and i mean sick. even the guitar bag he uses was like covered with dust and it stank. and speaking of which, it was an acoustic guitar bag which he used for an electric bass. that was so stupid.

anyways, i was having a kinda.. "mm kum wan" feeling as i left. called aaron and talked about it.. but he felt that it was a good buy, cos i can still make repairs and stuff. so anyways, yea, kinda felt good. headed down to my uncle's place at clementi after that to go out with them for dinner. kind of a mother's day celebration with them and my grandma. went to safra tampines. ate alot. completely bloated lol. man. gotta go running soon. lol.

heng we left kinda early, cos i was like really really eager to get home to play around with the bass. the momeny we did, i took out the bass from the bag, *DISCARDED* the bag it was in. (it was just sick) and brought it to my room. spent about 2 hours fixing it up. if you say my nick it said i was "zhnging my bass" lol. yea, really i was. removed the parts, cleaned the bass up, removed the rust etc. changed the strings too. at least now... it looks decent. damaged parts aren't in visible areas so nevermind... at least the metal parts are like shining again and stuff. so yea. kinda satisfied with it. then went to fiddle around with the effects pedal, and in fact i've been doing that till now.

well, that's all for today. time to sleep. got work tomorrow. and mi3. ;) hehe. nite.

i'm tired. yawN

2006-05-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

man i'm tired. just got home. ZZzzz. really want to concuss. heh.

today was quite okay. was damn tired in the morning. had 8am class la!! means i had to wake up at 6. man, heard my alarm like about 10 times lor. i set 3 alarms to wake up, snoozing each one after another. finally got up around 620. tired sia. cos i slept like at 1 cos i was watching finding nemo on disney channel lol.

in addition i ran to hq the day before too. been running quite a bit recently with all the mount k training and stuff. running round expo and stuff, and runnin to hq with 5kg of equipment strapped to my back. not bad la. took about 35 mins to do that approx. 4 km. heh. yea la. not good la.. but to my standards.. oh well haha.

so anyways, school was okay. everyone was just so tired. wanted to watch mi3 after school but not a good day for everyone today so we'll be going on sat after my basic course ends. (:

after school, headed home then started writing a song. dunno why. suddenly just felt like. damn funny sia. must be something stuck in my mind subconsciously, cos somehow the song i wrote used practically a very similar tune to aaron's "longing". lol.

anyways, went to get my hair cut. i like it now (: got back my slight V. after that, headed home, showered and went down to clementi to meet dylan and aaron to follow them to a dealer's house to buy their guitar effects.

that guy's house is damn cool la, he has a room full of amps and stuff and it's kinda soundproofed. his stuff are just damn cool. and his dog is so cute. was playing around with it. been a long time since i've played with a dog. so anyways, we hung around there playing the guitar and stuff for 2 hours, then went to a kopitiam to chit chat. got motivation to play bass properly now lol. my role model shall be "flea", the bassist from rhcp. he's damn cool la. pro sia he.

anyways, chit chat till quite late, then didn't want to take bus home cos i was damn tired and i kinda suspected that i'll oversleep all the way to the next interchange so i shared a cab back with aaron. (:
gonna shower and play some bass then sleep. nitey nite! ;)

zzz

2006-05-10T19:49:00.000+08:00

nothing much today. stayed home.

finished up our FYP proposal, now just gotta wait for sara to get back to me. played some games and then like around the afternoon, nic called me.

ALRIGHT! my pay was ready!!! muahaha. happy la. so i just did some other work then after that around 5+ ran down to hq. picked up my money then hung around there for a while talking to nic. damn funny sia. anyways, took a bus home after that. was getting late and i was hungry. ehehe.

Sunny daYs

2006-05-07T20:12:00.000+08:00

today was cool.

woke up pretty early.. hm.. actually not that early lol. 8. but didn't really sleep too well. dunno why. i was asleep, but somehow when i woke up, it felt like i didn't sleep at all.

anyways, met garry and caught 76 down to TC for the christology session. was really good, learnt alot. left early to head down to expo for ushering duty, so caught a ride in sook san's car. wa then something jialat happened. but i thank God that it all turned out well. :)

when i was getting out of her car, i dropped my wallet. but i didn't realize it and nobody noticed it. then during service i was like damn gan chiong, but thank God it all turned out for the best, and i found it back at the exact same spot i dropped it after 6 hours +!! thank God man. :)

anyways, back to ushering duty. it was really fun. quite funny at first la.. we were all laughing at the outfit and all. then when we were heading out to the duty area i was like "and as we walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." then everyone was laughing haha. had fun.

duty itself was cool. then clarence saw me.. then was like.. "eh u sign on ah?" haha. cos i've been bugging him for the past 4 weeks when he was on duty haha. fun fun.

then marcus and keith came.. along with another marcus tan.. haha. and he accepted the Lord. :) anyways, after service, had a good time of ministry with them especially keith, hey buddy, i'm there for you, and sorry if i kinda stressed you out :)

after that had training. wa tiring sia. run and run and run. but was fun nonetheless. aiyo. getting lazy to blog already haha. okay la. all in all, great day. thank you Lord.

eat, eaT.

2006-05-06T22:18:00.000+08:00

today was quite okay.

woke up, played com a bit.. then headed down to barker for the camp meeting. quite alright. camp should be dang fun.

after that cabbed down to bkt timah hill for training.

training was rather fun. was just a great time. oh well. just gotta get into the other aspect of life. hm. don't know what i mean by that.

anyways, after that went for dinner. dang filling la. shiok. then went for durian with pastor and some others after that. came home after that.

that's about it. *stuffed*

nothing but ingrates?

dani california

2006-05-05T18:42:00.000+08:00

i'm in love with dani california.

(:

hm

2006-05-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

just saw this on one of my scouts' msn nick.

"Love the heart that hates you, but do not hurt the heart that loves you."

i think that is so true. i need to learn that as well.
and i hope you learn that as well.

Don't talk to me.

2006-05-03T17:11:00.000+08:00

Crawling - Linkin Park

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/I can't seem

to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
distracting/reacting
against my will I stand beside my own reflection
it`s haunting how i cant seem...

to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
so insecure

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing confusing what is real

there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing what is real
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/confusing what is real

too much?

2006-05-01T20:29:00.000+08:00

there are other ppl i love too much too. my friends, my family, my scouts, my cell members, .. my Ventures. yes. maybe the love is too much. i give all i can give, but yet reap so little. there are times of joy i'll admit, but sometimes it seems, it's very shortlived. i just feel very.. used. i hate that. but yet i've reached perhaps, a dependant stage? i need to get out of it. i hope you are reading this. you probably arent. but still, i hope.

but then again, what is it to you? what am i to you?
you don't seem to know. you don't seem to care.

sigh.

2006-04-29T12:09:00.000+08:00

Thanks alot eugene. that tag really meant alot to me. thanks.

you know, i really don't know what to do. i feel like shouting, venting my anger, but yet i feel like crying. i dunno. was it something i did? or was it something i didn't do? why did this happen? sigh.

i really don't know. i'm sorry. why am i saying that? i don't know. i don't know...

it's a shame how some words can damage a person's life so drastically.

pissed off. again.

2006-04-28T15:26:00.000+08:00

you know another thing that pisses me off greatly? people who gossip. especially those who gossip and spread false word about people.

i can't stand it everytime someone comes to me and like "eh you know ah.. that guy this this this this." "you know ah, his what what what very what"

I CAN'T STAND THAT.

can't you people have some basic respect and courtesy as to not bad mouth or spread false word about people behind their bacKs?! my goodness. some people are just so damned immature.

let me set the record straight. i am not attached to anyone now. i may be close with some people, but that doesn't mean that we are attached. golly. i have no idea how some of you people can spread crap until the word going around is that we're attached and so on so forth. WHAT IS THE BLOODY MATTER WITH YOU IMMATURE PEOPLE.

now leaders, i can understand your concern. really. i understand. but the rest of you, especially those who spread those damned rumours. i am pissed off. whoever you are. you are down right immature, and i hate that. we should be in this world to spread good word and good cheer among ppl, not gossip and point fingers behind their backs.
so what if i'm the SP's son. i'm still human. ever since i'm young, i've had so many ppl watching me, trailing me like a bunch of vultures. i have been warned about this so many times and finally it's come. well, you already know what i feel about this. damn you. all of you.

i don't even want to blog about this anymore. i can be a patient man, but this, this just shortened my fuse. i would love to use some nasty words here, but i shall refrain and restrain myself.

pissed off

2006-04-25T16:23:00.000+08:00

okay. kinda cheesed off.

well school was okay. went for avionics lab. went to build some simple LED light circuit. lol then dunno how yuan li connect ah.. connect until his LED lights blew up then got smoke and all.. damn smelly. lol. funny sia.

lab was pretty short. short and sweet. after that went to apply for LOA with debbie then caught a bus back home with her and Yee Leng.

was supposed to go study with keith after that at KAP, but kena pang seh. told me he was going to airport to study.

--------------------------------------------------------

hai. this is what got me cheesed off. i mean, this is not the first time it's happened. it always happens. and when i get angry, i sms him and he doesn't reply. argh. irritating. i mean, come on la.. you make an appointment with me, i CANCEL my other plans for it, and in the end you tell me you changed the plans. piang eh. and what's more not replying my sms. what am i? some kind of hand towel which you use when you need to and just throw aside when you don't? come on...

okay fine. it's been said that being my friend like very demanding, i'm very demanding on my friends. fine, maybe that's true. i've been thru this discussion with myself inside my head MANY times. true. i am demanding. but in this case, is it too much to ask just for someone to keep his appointment with me? to not pangseh me? and not say it's the first... No. i don't think that's demanding. i think that's just the law of life. basic respect and etiquette. i've swallowed down this so many times but i cannot anymore. okay? i am not something for you to just shrug off when you don't want me and something you come running to when you don't. forgive me if i sound harsh, but life is a 2 way street, and i too have needs. get with it.

sleep. sleep.

2006-04-25T11:15:00.000+08:00

well, i'm supposed to be in school now but i'm not. LoL. why?

i overslept. ahahaa. yesterday also. didn't go school at all. at least later i'll be going after lunch.

DANIEL KHONG! second week of school only so fast start your ponning spree ah? must stop. LoL.

haha. anyways, i'll update more tonight, so stay tuned. haha. right.

basiC couRse

2006-04-22T20:16:00.000+08:00

woke up, prepared my uniform then headed down to hq for to see Freddy about my ITP logbook and stuff. after that had basic course.

course was quite fun. made new friends and stuff, and like the sessions were rather interesting. raised alot of debates lol. cool stuff. funny stuff too. someone was like "eh let's do a new echoes of sarimbun album. then can put on the front cover, 'music so good, BP would be rolling in his grave!'" lol.

well throughout the course kept thinking back on my scouting memories and what scouting has done for me and i really thank God for bringing scouting into my life. without it, the Daniel Khong you know would be alot worse off. maybe even, he wouldn't be around ;)

.ZzZ.

2006-04-22T11:34:00.000+08:00

well. nothing much's been happening.

been doing some researh for my FYP. gonna build some sort of UAV. hope it works.

school kinda ended early yesterday. lessons cancelled.. and.. well we cancelled the rest ;) went to play CS after class then headed down to barker with jon to take a look at camp alpha. ended up discussing about june camp instead. really excited about it. we're gonna do some fun stuff (:

after that headed home. continued with my researh for my FYP.
oh wells. that's about it.

guess i'm becoming weird.
don't know why i'm doing this.

2006-04-20T15:23:00.000+08:00

nothing to update.

BBROYG - LoL

2006-04-18T22:52:00.000+08:00

well. school again today. not too bad. 2 classes only. started at 10 and ended at 3. had some language module in the morning, teaching us stuff on like how to chair meeting s and stuff. found it quite redundant but nonetheless, i still learnt something from it.

headed for lunch after that. followed by lab. went into the lab quite early.. like 40 minutes early.. so were like just sitting inside the lab playing with handphones and listening to music. stupid music i might add. jx and i were blasting stupid sound clips from our phones. like "twinkle twinkle little star - ke ling version" haha. and the ah lam kway teow advert. aiya. damn bo liao. heh.

lab wasn't too bad. learnt some stuff. learnt some 'cool' acronym too. haha. BBROYG BVGM. it's for resistors but i shall not explain what it means as it's rather distasteful, but yet interesting, and let's just say, i'll never forget what it stands for. ahah.

okay day.

please look after yourself.

Freshmen.. yikes. heh.

2006-04-17T23:06:00.000+08:00

oh wells. it's back to school. yes, it's started. again. sigh. 3rd year already man. how time flies. it was just like yesterday i myself was a freshman. haha.

the last 2 years have just whizzed by. thought it'd be a long time before i'd see myself in 3rd year. oh well. here i am. heavy modules man... real heavy. gonna have to really start pulling up my socks.

school was fine today. started some basics of some of the topics and yea. that's about it. making fun of alot of the freshies. as usual. that's what we do. haha. no offense. just really funny seeing them being all confused and walking around with their lanyards and stuff. oh wells. we were all once like that. headed home after school. wasn't feeling too good. flu bug's been bugging me for the past few days what with the rain and all.

and what is with the arguement on JC vs. Poly man. give it a rest already. poly poly la. JC JC la. so what. big hoo hah. those forum posters are just plain immature to argue about it. been thru that discrimination before. but you know what? you may be a man for arguing back and standing up for yourself, but it takes a bigger man to just say "whatever makes you happy." :P

give it a rest people

Resurrection Sunday

2006-04-16T21:02:00.000+08:00

Because He lives... I can face tomorrow..

(:

well. great day today. had church. Marcus came along today too! really happy. feels great. considering how long i've waited for this day. haha. Marcus, really glad i could help you. (:

after church played soccer. that's right. I played soccer. amazing right?!!? haha. no scouts have ever seen me play soccer. except older batches. ahaha.

then had mount K briefing. damn excited to go for the trip la. sounds fun. gonna climb up there and shout as loud as i can. haha. excited. can't wait.

mount k mount k mount k mount k
ahaa

Last day...

2006-04-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

well. today was the last day of my work at Scout HQ.

gonna miss working there. had a really great and fun six weeks there haha. wouldn't really call it work. AHAHA. anyways, i'll be around there most of the time still anyways. heh. but still like feel very .. dunno. different. haha. dunno la!

will miss that place. the maniacs i worked with.. mohd K... jokers.. haha.

after work, went out to eat dinner with hui yen, wan ru and xin wen. kevin came along later. then we just walked aimlessly around. heh. then wanted to go watch movie but in the end never... haha. sorry lar. my fault.

quite zho bo la.. haha. headed home after that. gtg now. dinner coming out my rear. AHAH!

Maundy Thursday

2006-04-13T23:19:00.000+08:00

well, the big event just ended. phew! haha. magic was great, everything was just awesome.

had a really fun time, with the magic and joking around and stuff. really great time. hope all those friends who came enjoyed themselves! (:

if you need me, i'll be there (:
my dream is to see all of you on this path.

New Skin

2006-04-12T22:46:00.000+08:00

finally i've got a new skin up. just anyhow select one actually haha. cos i just didn't like the previous skin.

performance tomorrow. better prepare. (:

maybe i'll edit the picture when i've got time. argh.

i'm sorry

2006-04-11T12:18:00.000+08:00

haven't been blogging much. lazy i guess. heh. busy too. with the tribe meeting on sat and preperations for the TGIF program this thurs night.. my magic and all that. -- someone supposed to go ah!! ahaha ;)

past few days.. okay la. thought through some stuff, and dealt with some issues. long overdue issues.. well at least they're out and i just pray that God will just guide me through this path. shared with evan and keith, maybe in due time.. if i am supposed to, i'll share with the rest. but i don't think so.

feel very liberated. but a bit sick now though. caught a cold. zzz. at work. bored. looking at oakleys, debbie helping me to buy thru mindef (: haa. my stupid oaks now all scratched up liao. then dun have the warranty.. zzz. i want new oaks! haha. $$$ sia. haha.

guess that's about it. xw! thurs ah... aHAHa.
i like this. someone sent me this a few days ago:

"Good friends don't always need togetherness,
don't always need everday conversation.
As long as the friendship lives in the heart,
it remains forever."

i thought that was very sweet. i hope all my friends will read that.

2006-04-08T00:38:00.000+08:00

expected today to be a super day. but the day... kind of left something to be desired i guess.

left the house late for work todae.. cos i was trying to rush something for mao jie... the photo cd but somehow my burner kaput on me and it couldnt burn. so i tried alot of times but still cannot. wasted like 20 minutes on it. then by the time i was about to leave the house, it was really late already so i cabbed down to hq.

work... okay la. quite slack day. poh lin was at work todae.. fool around a bit la today i guess haha. freddy brought me up to the scouter's lounge.. never knew such a place existed haha. cool place. more like a bar. after that, went to do some tasks. i'm the scout shop handy man haha. fix door, install notice board etc. haha. put up a bulletin board and was like typing a bulletin for it. after that, left for cedar cfire.

got there really early, then wan ru said i couldnt go in cos my school not there yet! haha. okay lor. so i sat outside and waited for them. after a while mr lau came and joined me. then we waited for the rest. they came.. on time la. but still later than projected. cfire.. okay la. nothing much. was just sitting behind after a while. gave up.

i glanced from afar,
just to catch a glimpse.
but you sailed away,
and the rain clouds came to play.
tears in the rain.

2006-04-06T21:54:00.000+08:00

want to change my blog skin. but damn lazy to. hai. heh. dunno la. see when i feel the inspirtation to change it properly then i'll change it.

somehow, recently, i've been thinking alot about past memories. lots of things to think about. guess about the entire past year.

everytime i go to PS, i think about all the times all of us would hang out around there, KFC, BK, pizza hut or wherever and lots of stupid stuff would happen. like xinwen getting ketchup all over my hand. heh.

and the other day i was in a cab, and we were going along the highway. then i was just like looking at the sides of the highway, the hills and stuff, and i was like thinking of the time keith and i went to search for my PSA hike checkpoint and were like climbing and bashing around in the trees along the BKE.

lots of other memories too. i dunno. they've just been whizzing through my head. maybe subconsciously i want to relive all these moments. seems like things were so much better then. of course things are good now, and i thank God for everything now but just that..... hm i guess.. life was just simpler then. but time moves on, people change, and well, i guess i've got to change to. but i guess that's the hardest part. somehow i thought i finally broke out of the cycle of being a loner, but perhaps, it's true... the more things change, the more they stay the same.

i dunno. the question "why bother?" still rings in my head. why do i still bother with helping others, my scouts..all of them... xw... keith or whoever. somehow, it seems the more i do, the more painful it gets. you know, i get hurt by these things on a weekly basis. somehow, something will happen, big or small, and it'll be very painful for me. i guess it's true. well at least in my case. "the more things change, the more they stay the same."

well. guess i'll just see how things go. but one thing i know is that, i'll never change. i'll be there. always. to whoever.

A lesson from the Chinese Bamboo Tree
You take a little seed, plant it, water it, and fertilise it for a whole year, and nothing happens.

The second year you water it and fertilise it, and nothing happens.

The third year you water it and fertilise it, and nothing happens. How discouraging this becomes.

The fourth year you water it and ferilise it, and nothing happens. This is very frustrating.

The fifth year you continue to water and fertilise the seend and then.. take note.
Sometime during the fifth year, the Chinese bamboo tree sprouts and grows
ninety feet in six weeks.

Life is much akin to the growing process of the Chinese bamboo tree. IT is often discouraging. We seemingly do things right, and nothing happens.

But for those who do things right and are not discouraged and are persistent, things will happen.
Finally we begin to receive the rewards.
---------------------------------------

if i could relive those days, i know something that'd remain the same.
i would.

2006-04-03T18:40:00.000+08:00

finally back to my blog after a long while. dunno why i also haven't been blogging. like getting lazy to maintain a blog liao. haha.

anyways, past few days.. okay la. bought some new clothes last week... nothing spectacular. today, had drill course. went quite well i guess.

kena pang seh in a way. you know, yea, i'm a bit angry, but i understand.
but know this:

i've always been there, whether you've been knocking on my door or not. but someday, you will knock, and i won't be there to answer. - please, don't take it for granted.

2006-03-28T11:49:00.000+08:00

i am so bored now. at work. nothing to do. sitting on the comfy chair and surfing the net.

okay i shall blog about the past 2 days then.

sunday. Sunday was totally awesome. i've never been happier in my life. won't say why, but it just enjoyed sunday. thanks man. you know who u are. haha.

monday. went to buy my new phone (: ahha. Motorola V3i!! alright! haha. happpppy.after that went to school. KenA pang seh by someone.. but nevermind. it's okay. had drill course. mainly washed out. stupid rain. but did some stuff. after that went out to watch V for Vendetta with calvin garry and hong shern. it's a damned good show.

zz. aiya lazy to blog now haahah. bye

2006-03-25T20:57:00.000+08:00

today was one busy day.

saturdays usually very busy at scout hq, cos it's a sat so lots of ppl come to buy stuff and lots of meetings happen. Zzz.

well, went down early, cos i had to open up the place today. nic is on leave this entire week and hui kang they all were at their own unit meeting. so left me. only. and freddy la, but i handle most of the people that come. so morning, already quite hectic. then reaching lunch time was getting busy. that was about 1+. freddy would have to attend the commissioner's council meeting at 2.30, so he told me to get my lunch first. so i left, and there was a big crowd there already. freddy was manning the counter, and i went out to buy lunch for myself and him too.

when i got back, the crowd was still there sia. haha. lots of ppl. met kennedy on my way back. lucky he showed up sia, if not i sure die. cos after freddy went for his meeting, it was customer after customer after customer. pure business. sux.

busy busy busy. stupid busy day. made some new friends tho. funny sia. both of them from SP, one from my course some more. same year as me. Adrian. ASL of dunno what unit at katong one. haha. and one of their ventures, going for PSA one, Ching Hao, who happens to be doing aerospace electronics. haha. what a small world. had fun talking and joking with them. working in hq is actually quite fun.

oh yea then something interesting today. yesterday, this indian guy came and bought uniform for his son. then i was like helping him out and being very helpful. then when he left he was like "hey thanks for all your help, what's your name by the way?"
so i said "daniel, why?" and he replied, "oh nothing. thanks again."

and guess what? he came again today. and turns out.. he's some commissioner!! ahaha. LoL. i was damn amused by that. i couldn't believe it. oh well. haha. got connections now.

Jesus, lover of my soul,
Jesus, I will never let you go.
You've taken me from the miry clay,
You've set my feet upon a rock,
& now I know.

I love You, I need You,
Though my world may fall I'll never let you go.
My Saviour, my closest friend.
I will follow You until the very end.

2006-03-24T17:09:00.000+08:00

okay okay! i'm updating! stop bugging me. ahahaa.

okay la. i'm at work now. done my stuff, boss is out. haha. zzz. aiya. i dunno what to update la. okay let me think about yesterday.

went to work, then freddy asked me to do some data entry stuff. alot of crap man. few hundred entries, including barcodes, quantity, pricing.. zZZz... sian. spent like practically the whole day on it. then the office is like freaking cold, so i was like freezing my sorry ass of there. brrrr.

oh yea, during lunch freddy asked me to escort hui kang to the bank to deposit some jobweek money. quite a fair sum. 5k or so.. then we brought it there in a biscuit tin haha. then took pen knife in case we got robbed. ahaha. like WtH!!

went there, then we poured out the tin on the counter, then the lady had to count all of it. thousand + coins and lots of notes man. count until damn sian. stood there for 40 minutes before they finished. what's worse was the stupid lady kuai lan us... basket. cheesed off man. wanted to scold her... i would have, if i wasn't there on scout business lor. stupid. attitude sia! i hate people who try and get the better of other people just cos they're younger. i mean i'm the customer after all. bah. haha.

supposed to go meet some new friends after work with chris, but he wasn't feeling well so we didn't go. went home instead. had a pizza.. then played com then slept lor.

today.... guess what! MORE DATA ENTRY. at least not that much this time. phew! done already. now just waiting for work to end. haha. then i'll go down to barker for scouts

2006-03-21T00:23:00.000+08:00

nothing much today.

went to barker. taught drill. after that, went to play lan with the guys.

the end.

haha

i'm lazy today

2006-03-19T22:06:00.000+08:00

well, conference has finally ended. hectic few days man. phew! at least i managed to get it on some sleep today.

oh yea, on my way to service, while on the MRT, saw a friend and his GF. and they were like smooching la, and i was like "oh crap." and i turned away. i'm quite turned off by these things. especially when they seem to overdo it.

conference has been great. time to rise up (: brought frederick to church today. really think it was great for him, think that something's touched him. feel.. kinda great myself too.

after service, went to watch date movie with chris and garry. bloody stupid show. thought it would have been funny but like you leave the theatre with an irritated feeling instead. haha. sickening. then on the MRT ride home, saw another couple getting intimate. and the girl was like putting her hands inside the guy's shirt and they were like just 2 feet infront of me. sickening. the thought disgusts me. no shame sia.

2006-03-17T00:10:00.000+08:00

okay, i'm like typing this out for the second time, cos my damned IE crashed on me. hate IE. actually IE is good la. but it sux once you install mozilla on your com. bet it someohow degrades your IE. damned mozilla baaaaastards. hehe.

anyway, just got home from G12 conference. it was awesome.

this morning, woke up and headed to work lor. freddy was nice to give me 2 day's leave and let me leave early today. Sam came down to hq to meet me to get some stuff and we had lunch together at mos. wa lao, we were like walking to this empty seat then this kid suddenly ran up to the seat and sat there. i was like a bit cheesed off... but nvm la, it's like that one. i got even more cheesed off when that girl's mom or dunno what told her "WELL DONE!" i was like freak man, can i punch you? basket. haha
left work around 4, then followed my dad down to expo.

met up with the guys then found our seats. night session was good. then my dad pulled me out infront of the whole congregation, haha. u know me la, quite gian one. like this sort of stuff. haha. but was caught a bit off guard la. was damned stress also when he was like "where is my son Daniel?" and like the whole block seated around me snapped towards me. haha. oh yea met Basil during worship. he repaid me the $2.50 he owed me for paying for his name tag first. he wa slike jumping around and everything. really damn cute. can't stand it. ahaha.

then this michelle ah, another kind sia. she wearing her bright orange jacket so i said "hi fire chief!"
then she punched my stomach. she hits hard. pain sia. basket. haha.

ok la. time to zzzz.

2006-03-15T10:03:00.000+08:00

haha. i'm blogging from my boss' computer now. been very tired the past few days, then haven't been blogging much. i better make this quick before he comes. ahaha.

monday, woke up early went to meet keith at school. went out.. just zho bo lor. shopping and stuff, then played lan. after that i went to pick up isaac with him, then isaac is like damn shy of him ahaha. damn cute la. after that went for band prac. quite okay la. got back late. slept. hehe.

yesterday was cool. work lor. then after that some sec 1 scouts from greenview came to buy uniform. then i saw one of them was wearing a tag, had his ezlink card and some stuff inside. then i looked carefully, it was one of my church's pass. then i asked him "eh u from fcbc ah?"
"ya"
"you know who am i?"
"no"
"my name is daniel khong"
"oh..."
"you know who daniel khong is?"
"yea... pastor's son.."

ahaha. damn funny. he's damn cute la. he's name is unique too. Basil Lee. wa cool sia. british name. ahaha. then he not enough money, then paid for his stuff. cool. haha. cute man.

ok, i need to go work now. i'll be back. shit. boss coming

2006-03-12T16:53:00.000+08:00

oh man !!

i can't believe that it's been so long since i last posted!! i guess it's cos of work. having too much fun there haha. then since i finish at 7, i reach home around 730 or 8 sometimes, then play game the rest of the night. so no time to blog. haha.

let's see.. nothing much on wed and thurs. fri, hm... went to work in half u, then kennedy was wearing the same as me!! VLC polo and scout pants. haha. but mine better. muahah. anyways, quite busy that day. then alot of scouts and cubs came. then just to show my power i went to put on my uniform haha. except i swapped the epaulettes out for rover scout leader ones. then everyone all scared. haha. then after that freddy saw and he was like, hm... you RSL meh? then i was like.. uh.. oh shit. haha. then he was like "wa lao why everyone that works here likes to play with the epaulettes?!" haha.
anyways, he was nice enough to let me off from work early to go down to barker to run my hike. then everyone that saw me was wondering why my epaulettes were bright red. haha. anyways, had the hike. and i wont blog about that.

saturday, had work, went down in full u. have to every saturday. then had to escort some big shot in the afternoon. aussie scouts were doing dunno what there. then the VIP for whatever function it was was some Australian or European high commissioner or something from the embassy. nothing much on sat.

haha. anyways lazy to blog anymore.

2006-03-07T19:45:00.000+08:00

just got back from work (:

haha. work is damn fun sia. i swear. the hq temp staff are all nuts. myself included.

okay, first i went in. then i was like wondering what it was gonna be like. didnt know what to expect. went in, learn some of the stuff, sales and stuff then like just zho bo lor... then damn bored. then just sit around play with phone, walk around. haha. then after that started talking to the guys, and they are nuts man. went out for lunch, and after that, all hell broke loose man. they are lunatics haha. and now i am one of them.

they were like ji siaoing ppl during lunch. hilarious. then after that went back hq, got alot of work to do but after that starting slacking and joking around again. bunch of clowns haha. fun fun fun.
nic is damn funny la. haha. and we're all damn racists. haha. like haven't laughed so much in a day for a long time sia.

work is great haah. oh man.. got oogles of epaulettes to take!! ahaha.
dunno what else to blog liao. hahaa. fun.

work, work

2006-03-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

today, pretty boring day. boring after boring stuff.

woke up, looked after isaac. then after that, had lunch, then was super bored, so i installed half life again. haha. not 2, but 1. oh man. that's how bored i was. so anyways, played around, until around 5 then left for barker.

went for the monk's hill campfire and.. oh wells. damn boring. after that had supper at newton and then cabbed home.

did i think i'd actually resign?

2006-03-03T23:43:00.000+08:00

kinda slept in alot haha. guess the submarine put me to sleep well hehe. but i was really tired, alot of late nights and early mornings for exam period.

well, supposed to have lunch with someone who end up pang seh.. haha. anyways, had to return the bass to chris, haha, cos he needed to lend someone else. oh wells, he'll pass it back sometime soon.

anyways, went for scouts after lunch. just hung around, watched the meeting lor. talked to some people about some stuff. well, all was kinda okay and then finally something happened to the ventures and everyone was talking, and i told all the ventures what was on my mind and heart lor. almost broke down. my cheek was like twitching cos the tears were really like about to roll out. sigh.

wells, at least i've got something off my chest. thanks to jon khong. heh. thanks alot. to eamon and jon heng as well. really appreciated what they said.

in the end, maybe it's all worth it

2006-03-03T00:05:00.000+08:00

alright!! exams are finally over !! woo-hoo! haha.

i feel great. like finally. feel so free and easy now.

after the paper, we hung around the macs at school, then after that headed down to PS. went to the arcade the dhoby ghaut mrt. whole lot of us. yuan li, jason, weijie, daniel chew, jian xun, chee wei, damien and i. played ghost squad, house of the dead 4, daytona, strikers 1945, haha. everything. shiok. damn shiok feeling.

then jian xun and i went high playing house of the dead 4. haha. it's UBER fun. LoL. gee i wonder where i learnt that from. oh and we all watched big momma's house 2. really funny. ahaha. great show. then that stupid chee wei and jason never pay for the tickets and snuck it. ahaa. idiots.

after that, went back to play arcade, then jian xun, weijie, damien, chee wei and i headed to a bar and had some drinks. had a submarine. (:

feel great. time so sleep now. hah. sleep the effects off

2006-03-02T11:44:00.000+08:00

it's been written, the deed is done.
all that's left, is for me to decide when.

it's what you do that counts.

2006-02-28T15:14:00.000+08:00

2 more papers !!

argh. i'm really not the mugging type. haha.

sian. can't concentrate, lazy to go out and study hhaha.
ok. zzz.

just 2 more!! after that can party whole night.

just did some personality test:

You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never want to loose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people then you will be stress-free.

2006-02-27T15:20:00.000+08:00

somehow, i just have this uneasy feeling.

a feeling that something bad is going to happen.

a feeling that i have to make a painful decision,
and because of that some of you reading this will never see me again.

i hope it wouldn't come to that,
but somehow,
just have that feeling.

wouldn't it be nice if things were just as they were?
but i'll always be a brother to you.
a brother is a brother is a brother.
even tho we were once complete strangers

2006-02-26T21:54:00.000+08:00

2 more papers. zzzz with a capital Z.

sigh.

someone's screwing with my blog.

la de dum.

study study study, mug mug mug.
what i want to say,
sounds like fug.

2006-02-25T18:39:00.000+08:00

red-hot !! that's what i am ;)

hot day sia. then spent it at changi somemore. well, it's been a long day. woke up at 630, then went to meet keith at AMK mrt. supposed to meet garry there too but he was late then he couldnt find us and the mrt was crowded so we met up at raffles place instead. took train all the way down to pasir ris. damn long and sian lor. haha. at least we were talking la.. so quite fast. except some lazy bum was sleeping in the corner cos he was ke-la-bing? haha.

anyways, reached pasir ris, met stanley, vin and garry's other classmates. then we split up, they went macs while keith and i went delifrance for breakfast. then after that had to queue up for the shuttle bus, then we were a bit late. then saw garry and his friends queueing up in front of us then we quickly rushed to them and went like "eh garry! haha. what you doing here" and all that sort of things. haha. so effectively, we cut without getting scolded haha.

headed down to the place, saw some static displays and stuff. then saw the airshow. okay only la. the previous ones were much better. then met kian chew and his friend, the MR guy. can't remember his name haha. paiseh.

then went to pasir ris for lunch, then headed down to hq there for a while to check on the scouts. then came home. quite an okay day.

it's beggining to feel like old times again.
after today. (:

p.s. i did not endorse anyone to skip scouts for asian aerospace ah, i didn't know about anything so don't point fingers at me please. (:

2006-02-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

oh man. exams suck!! i hate them. haha. then again, who likes them?

okay 2 things today.
ACC paper. okay la. not too bad. maybe a B.

Scout HQ. haha. i signed up with them. i'll be working for scout HQ during my holidays. haha. off with the maroon epaullettes and on with the grey ones. haha. alright!

oh man. maths paper in the morning. i'm so dead. time to sleep.

i'll need a miracle to get through my maths paper.

2006-02-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

you know, i go blog-surfing, i hear things from people. i can read, i can hear. i'm aware of some things that go on. i may not know the whole story but yes, i am aware.

**if you are my scout/venture, please read this!! **
it's long but please bear with me

people change. yes sir, indeed they do. i have. i know that. my style of leadership. one of my scouts, well he's a venture now once told me, "i prefer the way you were last time." i know, i know. sometimes, i tell myself that too. well as always, there are pros and cons to everything. part of me wants to be how i used to be but yet part of me wants to be who i am now.

well, but yet i never like it when people lecture me about being a leader. well forgive me, but it is my first time being a leader. i've got to try out and learn. some people may have been scouts longer than i have, but that doesn't matter. time doesn't necessarily give you experience. also, being a leader is completely different.

people can always sit down and say things about me, they can complain all they want. if that's the case, then i'll say you've got no right to be in the troop. i speak from a point of view, where ever since i graduated, EVERY SINGLE WEEK, WITHOUT FAIL, i take several hours off to do scouting. not even several, MANY hours. so don't lecture me until you know what it's like to give up EVERYTHING you have for the troop. your friends, your work and yes even special relationships. i've been there and i've done it. i dare say my commitment is unchallenged in this troop as far as up to my level is concerned. every week, that's right, as long as my health permits I am there. if i'm not there, either i'm out of town, sick, or perhaps church, even which sometimes i skip church for scouts. at least in the past. yes, i've changed, for better or for worse. your call. but never ever question my authority, i've earned that at least.

two reasons why i started becoming close with my scouts and changed to this new style of leadership as some would say.
1) i would never be able to truly change their lives if they are always scared of me
2) i was desperate for friendship

i'm not sure if you people actually know what it's like to be desperate for friendship. when i graduated, i lost alot of friends. in fact, i started losing friends since sec 4.
some of you should read this.
let me tell you a story.

i had this friend. he was one of my closest friends ever. we were buddies from sec 1, quite strange considering we were from different classes. but yet, we became buddies. he was a prefect, just as i was. eventually we ended up in the same class from sec 2, or 3 onwards. 3 i think. we would do duty together, slack together, well of course we couldnt play soccer together. i suck. haah. we all know that.
then came sec 4. people change. i know he did. our friendship started to falter.. but yet there were countless times i fought for him. i was a councillor, and i was the only one who stood up for him to be promoted. and finally... well let me just say there was some girl problem. and he hated me since then. i still remember the last conversation i ever had with him in sec 4. it was before morning assembly. "daniel khong, you're being a fucking asshole right? i hate you"
that has never left my mind. i remember that morning clearly. he was being unreasonable and shouted at me, i shouted back, almost fought, then azhar came in and stopped it. but well, that was how it all ended. he started becoming an asshole in class, talking behind my back and stuff. he even started getting people to sympathize with him thus making them hate me too. sigh. finally he did some stupid nonsense and i had to be one of those on the committee that sacked him. since then, he's never talked to me. i tried to get things rolling again, emailed him, but no reply. saw him at orchard once, and he just acted like i wasnt there. finally bumped into him at school this year. he just looked, and said "oh, hi." and turned away.

look, what i'm getting at, is that it sux to have a broken friendship. if you're reading this and you're going thru the same thing, i really want to spare you the pain. yes, i'm trying to help. indirectly maybe. i just don't want to chup so blatantly. it's hard when it happens to you, but it's even harder when you see it happening right in front of your face.

yes, this message is to you. please heed my words, from my past experience. why live a life of crappiness when all can be well.

so after i graduated, i lost many friends. either the hard way, or it just happened that some took a different path from me. well, from my class, 4A3, only about 5 of us went poly. so you can tell how i lost my friends. i came from a "all-JC-route" era. lost many friends. and poly friends are just different too. they're great, but not what i was used to at least then. so initially i didn't get to know them well. another reason i lost friends, is because of scouts. countless times i can recall, where my old buddies would call me out, but i'd say no man, i've got scouts. and gradually, the calls got lesser and lesser, and eventually no more.

for one whole year, i was in depression, which is why i changed. i decided to get to know my poly friends, and at the same time get close to my scouts. cos pretty much, that's all i had to hold on to at that time. and out of all the 60 scouts then, only 1 ever opened up and accepted me as a friend and not a leader. that was a keith tan. so if any of you ever wonder why i treat him so well, i'm sorry, i try not to be bias but sometimes i fail, but this is why. my life was changed.

that's all i've got to say. it's alot. i hope this works.

2006-02-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

is love and care for a person shown through kind deeds, or through controlling him?
i think it's to let go. but that's the toughest thing for anyone to ever do.
it causes pain, it causes anguish.
but it's the right thing to do.
after all that's happen, and all i continue to do,

sometimes
.
.
.
i think
.
.
.
.
.
i love and care for you too much..

regardless, my doors are always open.
just as His are

2006-02-21T21:32:00.000+08:00

well, don't really know what to blog. i shall just wing it then.

well i've changed my blog skin, or at least just the background picture. something simple, something meaningless perhaps. why did i change? maybe i've given up on my previous skin's essence. things change, things happen in life that alters what was the original plan.

life will never go according to what we plan. of course it won't. it can't. we're not God. but one thing that consoles me is that i can let go. just let go and let God.

life used to be much simpler, wouldn't you say? wake up, go to school, study, lessons, prefect stuff, recess, whatever else, go home, play computer, homework, sleep. and the cycle repeats. used to be just me, myself and i. very simple, heh. nothing and no one else involved. it's easy.

nowadays i always think about others, my scouts, my guys etc. some of you may say i overreact to some stuff ah.. but it's just that i'm concerned that's all. xin wen, you for one :P but at least i don't do stupid things anymore. like last time.

***** please do not read beyond this if you don't want to know the darker side of me *****

i've done some stupid things in my time. yes sir, indeed i have. smoking for one. damn, it was stupid. 40 sticks at one sitting. about 2 - 3 hours. just sitting in that corner of my condo, downing all that.pain-reliever. at least that's what i thought it was. oh wells it never got me anywhere.
one thing i'll never forget when i smoked. last year when something happened with keith, i started smoking. damn heavily. then one night it hit me so bad. i had to smoke. my hands were shivering. we were out at PS. i ran out to the road.. and i pulled out the pack, both hands shivering, and i took out the cig and lit it and i was tearing. then xin wen kept talking to me, chasing me around, trying to convince me to stop it. heh, later on he even followed me to 7-11 to make sure i don't buy more. heh. it was a bad thing i did, but yet it was a very sweet incident, seeing how much someone cared for me. i've always remembered that night.

another stupid thing i do. scratch myself till i bleed. freaky eh? but yea. oh yea. i bite myself too. my hands. sometimes i burn my self too.
some people don't understand why people do all these. sometimes the pain is just too real. so we try and like transfer it somewhere else.

oh wells, the best place to transfer it to, is still to that big buy up there. (:

guess what i'm trying to say is that i take people i care for very seriously, and i take it as seriously when someone cares for me too. i know you guys are going through your own phases and stuff, keith or whoever else. i won't force you guys to me. not anymore. but if you ever need me, i'll be there for you, as always. you just need to give me the chance.

2006-02-19T22:21:00.000+08:00

well. things have just been going great. this was a great week for me. i feel so liberated. i feel... happy. it's a nice feeling. something i've kinda forgotten in a way.

anyways, i've not been online much recently. been busy. anyways, yesterday, went to church around lunch time for the tabernacle. had a really good experience there. after that we (kelvin, alvin, eugene, joey, weiyi & david) were supposed to go over to stay at Evan's place but his brother-in-law had a small accident and had to go to the doctor's and so he and mabel were looking after him.

so we went to david's house instead.. but before that we were like hanging around the hawker centre. then damn bored.. cos we were waiting for the rest... so we started playing risk. not the real game la but just taking out the figurines and started aranging them on the table ahaha.

see..

cool eh? haha

then after that.. we went to Daniel hall at church and played there too. didn't complete the game.. palyed damn long then we were all hungry so we went for dinner. had dinner.. then headed to david's place. watched a bit of the match, goofed around with the guitar, then started playing risk at 11pm. damn long game. we slept at 4am. ahaha. and it wasn't over yet. haha. anyways, woke up around 10+, headed down to church then after that went home with my parents.

the end.
ahahaha

better than a thousand elsewhere.
it's time

2006-02-18T00:54:00.000+08:00

well. finally blogging again. hehe. past few days have been great. been going to church everynight for sanctification week.

anyways, i should be studying mainly this week but seems like i've been playing games all the time ahaha. AND I NEVER PON SCHOOL OKAY!! IT's NO NEED TO GO LIAO !!! hehehehehehehe

anyways, yea.. slacking around alot. well, things have been happeneing, and well i'm feeling great now. anyways, was talking to jeremy just now. he's asking me to go over and help him with his scout troop at NUS high.

somehow, i just felt like saying yes. so i took the offer. i'll be going over.
as much as i love barker, there's alot of joy there. but with joy there's pain and sorrow too.

think its really time for me to stop hesitating and start engaging. (:
if Scouting is my thing, so be it. i'll go for it all the way! all the way for God. (:

2006-02-12T01:15:00.000+08:00

haha. lazy to post, but yet i am posting again. heh.

well investiture is finally over. it was just as though the previous investiture was just a while back only, and now invest 2006 is over. time really flies man. alot has happened since then, good and bad.

but you know what? i'd do it all over again. the good, and especially the bad.

investiture was great, really tired tho, what with all the plannings and stuff. and i've got lots of tests coming up this week and exams starting the next.

study, study, study, mug, mug, mug. what i want to say, sounds like "fug". ahaha. wth. i thought that up on the way home. hehe.

sometimes we all just want some recognition.. we purposely do things and hope that people will say something nice, but they don't, and we end up beating ourselves up. hehe. we're weird eh? anyways, i've learnt that lesson. i don't need to hear it from you, cos i already have.

the people who have been a BIG part of my life and/or have let me be a part of theirs. :)

1. Chay Hong Leng
2. Ngiam Keng Kam
3. David Tan
4. Keith Tan
5. Soh Xin Wen
6. Christopher Kwong
7. Jonathan Khong
8. Marcus Tan

Thank you. I love you all.

2006-02-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

okay. post post post. i shall post again.

don't really know what to post about though. it's all so foggy.

oh wells, today, woke up, went to see doctor, got some medication for my nose. after that headed to far east for hair cut. usually don't cut there but my regular place is closed till monday and i can't stand my hair haha. i still can't stand it after i cut it.. ahah. right.

after that went for scout meeting. very busy, doing venture meeting, then after that had to do scout investiture.. zzz. aiya. actually i also don't feel like writing much about that.

it's come to a point where i'm not sure of myself anymore. i don't know who i am. somehow. if that's possible. it's really funny. we are born who we are. we should be who we are. but somehow, why am i not that? i don't know if i am being myself, or being what i should be to someone else. there are alot of things i have regretted in life. why am i always the one to take the different route from my peers?
it's confusing. it really is.i am no longer the daniel i used to be. why did i change? i think it would have been better off if i hadn't. my heart isn't right.

but oh wells, it's all part of life i guess. hm. i'll just see how it goes.

It's alright, i'm okay

rough times

2006-02-01T21:06:00.000+08:00

well. it's been a rough week. i'm back i guess.

had some time to myself, to think through, had some time to talk to some people too.

my mind really wanders sometimes. i know. it's my fault. seriously. i found out something. i'm an autophobic. check out what autophobia is.
i guess i just feel that way. it's my fear.

i'm really sorry for what i did and said, i know i can be too demanding, but please try and understand where i'm coming from.

i'm really overdue for my time with God. i'll check back later.

thanks marcus. i'm sorry keith, and xin wen.

2006-01-28T13:37:00.000+08:00

sometimes it's nice just to have that small glimmer of hope. but eventually that dim light of hope that keeps you going will fade. perhaps in an explosive manner or a calm and peaceful way. either way, it hurts. to feel that something you had, was just snatched away from you. something that you could grasp to, practically the only thing you have to hold on, is gone. everything collapses. sometimes it's not the big things that gives you this hope. it's the small thing. very small things. i don't need money, or whatever. i just want time. time from the ones i call my loved ones. i don't care who. my real family, or those i call my brothers. i just want to be reminded what it is to be loved. i know i am. i know i've really got things great, but i just want to be reminded again. i want to see it. i want to feel it. especially now. i've kept things under wraps for years. but i don't know if i can continue that way. i just want to see it. is that too much to ask?
is it?

IS THAT TOO DAMNED MUCH TO ASK? HUH? ANSWER ME DAMN IT.

loved ones are supposed to be there for you when you need them.
where are they now? WHERE.

2006-01-28T10:33:00.000+08:00

well. CNY is here.

watched I not stupid too yesterday.

good: very touching show, addresses real life issues.
bad: I can relate to it.

lonely days, lonely nights,
what will i do without my ......

father and mother i love you?

2006-01-25T14:26:00.000+08:00

ok. things are so .. *arGh* just cheesing me off.

i'm feeling down in the dumps enough and yet this kind of small things still has to happen just to bug me.

yesterday, i wanted to play one of my old games. so fine, i got the CD. tried to install. cannot. why? cos the paint corroded the CD. like wth. how stupid is that. nevermind. i'm still cool with that. so fine. i find the download and i start downloading the installation file. it's quite big... so it'll take maybe... 10 hours? around there. fine. so i downloaded for a few hours.. until about 12am. then i shut down and went to bed.

Today, i woke up and switched the com on. resumed the download. i thought by the time i get home from school, i'd be able to play it. BUT... my maid.. itchy finger... went and switch it off. she just pressed the damn button. and when my bro asked why she offed it.. she said.. "cos got light what..". aiya i dunno la. i was too pissed off to be pissed off. couldn't be bothered with anything. if that actually made any sense.

and besides that.. this morning's lab was screwed up. damn screwed up. pissed me off. why? cos of the damned lecturer!! YOU ARE A B*TCH. i'm sorry to say that, but it's the truth. i actually saw what happened coming at me actually. well. somehow, every wednesday, clementi will jam up on me. and because of that, i'll always arrive in school about 10, 15 minutes late. so this stupid %#^#@%@%& is quite picky on tardiness. but it doesn't really bug me. anyways. yee leng and i were on the same bus. she got off before me... and i was just trailing her by about... 10 metres maybe? so she walks into class first. followed by me. the $^@#%^ lecturer marks yee leng as on time and marks me late.

like $^%#^$@#^@$%!! WT* !! i really wanted to go and argue with her. i know i'd get my way anyways... i this kind of ACS kantang right? argue how to lose one. basket. i was damned pissed off. STUPID $^#@%$@^@ B*TCH !! when the lecturer evaluation form comes, i am gonna blast her with the worst stuff EVER !! i've done that before. she'll be the next one to kena my 800 word complain essay.

grr.
%&%*^^##^* %$^@#%&
%&#%$&^ &#^*%*&##^#%$@%^#
!!!

GRR

2006-01-24T21:24:00.000+08:00

sigh.
back to reality.

some things can be relieved, but they return.

it's a sucky feeling. not having it.

dunno la.

2006-01-22T18:40:00.000+08:00

back from camp!!
yay. heh.

camp was fun.. had lots of great times.. haha.. lots of wet times. damned rain..haha. nonetheless, it was still great. anyways.. hm let me try and think thru what happened throughout the camp.

day 1
friday, headed down to school in the morning, purchased the rations for the camp. after that... kinda just hung around till the camp started. once admin stuff were settled, changed into my attire and headed into the plot to recce the area first. vegetation was alot thicker this year. after that.. came back.. boys had some theory sessions.. and eventually at night they started their march in. i marched in with them and marched them around the recruits... give them a chance to look a little wei feng la.. haha. reached in, allocated their areas... then they went to sleep. or at least they were supposed to la.
meanwhile, we were talking cock and playing with the fire. heh.

day 2
woke up around.. 6+ 7. the others were all asleep. fast asleep. pigs. haha. i had to do all the work. went around, checking in on the boys and making sure that there were at least going to wake up roughly around the correct time. had some sessions.. highlight of the day was the jungle bashing. while they were bashing thru at night, mr wong and i were trailing behind quietly. haha. not bad. none of them knew at all. but man.. tough on me. my left leg is like damn pain. it's slightly smaller than my right.. so like it can swim around in my boot. and now my little toe has a huge ass blister on it.
i'd upload a pic but it's way too repulsive.

day 3
crawls. hha. did crawls with them today. talk about 'down and dirty..' heh. marched back to school.. cleared up.. bla bla bla. same stuff every year. hai.

post-camp
zzz. the feeling kinda sux. it's not about that the camp is over and i still want to go in and have fun or whatever.. but it's like... man.. time really flies. it was like just not too long ago i was in with the previous batch and now it's the next batch already. man. and not only does time fly. i'm getting old sia. i mean not that old la.. but like.. wa slowly seeing batches through liao. 19 this year... my friend actually once told me... eh you're pretty frigging old leh.. haha. i guess so.
well.. as long as i maintain my youthful heart.. nothing can go wrong. i hope. haha.
i love scouting.
i love my boys.

okay, anyways, i'm like kinda dizzy now... like losing focus. due to lack of sleep i guess. didn't have much sleep in the camp and had about 9 hours of sleep over the past 2 nights. zzz.

zzzzzzzz.
zzzzz......

2006-01-19T17:30:00.000+08:00

just got home. heh. nothing much today..

woke up, headed to school, got the boots from debbie. haha. thanks. then hung around for a while then headed down to barker.

had lunch with yangshen, VJ and some friend of theirs.. ahha. paiseh. then after that ben ho came.. and so did tommie with his afro hair. ahha. man.. it's been a long time since i've seen all my old buddies.

anyways... did some scout stuff.. then headed down to beach road and bought things for the unit and myself.

Survival Camp is tomorrow !! ahaha.
time to tekkan... (:

muahahah.

2006-01-18T18:02:00.000+08:00

woke up late today. haha. missed my first two classes =(. ahaha. like i care. LoL!

anyways, headed down to school by about 11.. had RWP test. quite easy la. think i should do quite okay. anyways, after that, hung around outside the class for a while.. talk cock... and then headed down to barker to brief the boys about the upcoming camp. was supposed to go buy the food supplies for the camp but seems that we couldn't, so i'd be going to buy it tomorrow.

can't wait for survival camp man. haha. it's gonna be damn fun. yay! (:

well.. after that headed home. came home, checked mail. then i watched brother bear again. or at least scanned thru the highlights. oh man. such a good show. i like cried again when i watched it. it's so damn touching. you guys gotta see it man. haha

anyways, time to get to work.
toodles.

feels great to love and be loved.
know that i'll do my best to watch over you. :)

2006-01-17T16:04:00.000+08:00

well. i've changed my skin again. why such a cartoony skin some ppl ask me...
well, i just watched "Brother Bear" the other night.. again. haha. saw it on disney channel.. and like.. i mean i really understand where that movie's coming from. especially after what i've been through.

i really enjoyed that show. i mean i practically teared at the end of it. beautiful show about brotherhood, thus bringing out this newly themed skin. (:

anyways. was feeling rather gloomy over the weekend.. that's why i didn't really blog.. till now. sometimes i guess we just get this like.. anxiety attack or identity crisis. dunno about others but i do. sometimes i end up like questioning myself... what am i doing? am i a good scout leader?
thoes kind of stuff. i've always felt that scouting was about brotherhood. which is why i've always enjoyed scouting.. since young actually, i've always longed for a younger brother. and well, scouting is somewhere i find that i can really fulfill that desire and reach out to some.

i thought through of some events that took place over the past year or so... and even chatlogs with some people... and i realize.. hey actually i've done a rather decent job. i know that some people have really been changed through what i've done in their lives. and i really thank God for that and it really comforts me.

though i can't be with the scouts every single day, at least i'll have peace knowing that i've reached out to them, and also knowing that i can call 2 of them my brothers. and at least one calls me that back. haha

some still may not understand what i'm getting at...
i'll give you time :)
meanwhile, try and look through my eyes

2006-01-14T11:14:00.000+08:00

sigh.

i'm not getting the same amount of satisfaction anymore.

why?

need a recharge.

getting sick of this path,
but unable to hop off.

2006-01-11T20:50:00.000+08:00

okay okay! since my laptop has been revived, i shall blog. making it a quick one tho. got to go study. got a test tomorrow. bleahz. see. taking time to blog cos SOMEONE ask me to post. :P

ok today, quite a cold day again. woke up damn early, damn tired. been sleeping late recently. haha. anyways, after classes, went to make my tertiary ezlink card. like finally la ! ahah. going year 3 soon then i make. ahah. guess i finally no money now. haha. headed down to buona vista with debbie. then when we arrived like.. realized the transitlink office there closed down liao haha. then had to head back to juron east. made my card, then headed to orchard cos debbie wanted to get her crumpler :P act cool la someone.

after that, went PS, studied FOF and i bought a pouch. then headed back to school for the attachment talk. bla bla bla. boring stuff. headed home. haha. watched 2 chinese movies. some hong kong shows la haha. crap. better start studying.

toodles.

2006-01-07T17:00:00.000+08:00

haha sorry all. can't blog much. laptop died ):

haha. damned viruses.